Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): easy one this .......
a balloon - or condom - put a few drops of aftershave in it and PARTIALLY inflate it - then put a needle in it to create a small hole without bursting it (condom probably better for this.
Arrange to meet him for a drink.
Put partially inflated condom down back of underwear.
As you sit - apologise for once again passing wind.
You ofcourse will smell of roses.
He'll grow to like your farts.
A
female
reader, sugapuff  +, writes (10 September 2006):
 block up his butt hole and see how long he lasts without farting!
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (10 September 2006):
 Let me get this straight, your boyfriend is an asshole that doesn't fart? He is strange.
Does the asshole do anything other than talk shite?
You should say to him, "How can such an asshole let out so much shite without so much a sniff of a fart?"
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (8 September 2006):
 He told you that you need help, sweetie, your ex boyfriend qualifies as the biggest AH in on the face of God's earth. Girl, he has serioous issues, be thankful you dont have to put up with that kind of attitude. All the best babes. xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): When u 'accidently' passed wind, was it loud and oily in smell? Was it the type where you're sure it would have melted your panties, possibly even sprayed excess 'particles' upwards at your partner? I'm thinking [coughs] your relationship with him didn't have much of a foundation in the first place. However you two managed to get attracted to each other and declare each other gf/bf is a bit mindboggling - unless of course, you two are in your pre-teens, say about 6 to 9 years of age, and been curious to the whole dating thing in teens and adults.
This post reminds me of the turd streak entry - where the guy hates wiping his ass properly. [ponders]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): Next time you see him just run up to him and ask him to pull your finger.
Or have a bunch of friends run him down and fart on him.
Yah...I was being immature...my bad.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): Well then he didn't tell you the REAL reason(s) why he dumped you. He played the safe yet immature card.
And really, who is he to say you need help?
Why would he just say that? It just doesn't jive.
Move on Chica.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanxs for your kind remarks.I did have a chat with him but he still said i was bang out of order and that there was 2 sides to every story.He told me that i needed help.
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A
female
reader, Badger girl +, writes (8 September 2006):
 Im sorry but hes is such a duce bag, I think you shoukd tell him what he really is, an idiot who isnt worth a minute of your time!!
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (8 September 2006):
 he's an idiot find a new guy
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A
female
reader, phuthi +, writes (8 September 2006):
this is the most dumbest thing i have ever had in my life,he wanted to leave a used the most foolish excuse forget about him he is a looser u desever better matured man.let him take hike!
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (7 September 2006):
David Lewis you joker!!!!!! North West people have the best humour dont they??!!!!!! lol
Seriously, this boyfriend is a complete loser, I am still in shock after reading that post.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): Oh my, David Lewis...your last comment is hilarious! (chuckling here)
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (7 September 2006):
Lol, I hope it sticks to his cheek too.
His face would resemble my avatar
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (7 September 2006):
OMG, even dead bodies fart.
Is he an alien? I am sure he enjoys a good fart just as much as the rest of us.
It seems as though he was looking for ANY excuse to end it.
Next time you see him, pick your nose and flick it at him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): Everyone farts! It's a natural body function. Every day each one of us passes gas, several times, even your jerky ex-bf does it. He sounds immature and if he's looking for the 'perfect' dream girl who doesn't fart, he'll never find her. Be happy you don't have to deal with him anymore and go find a nice guy who can accept you for you. Don't let this get to you, dear. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (7 September 2006):
*was* not wss, sorry!!!
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A
female
reader, mwest  +, writes (7 September 2006):
Move on with your life. I agree with everyone else. He was just looking for an excuse to break up anyway. Passing wind is a natural thing, sometimes you just can't help it. I'm sure that he does it but its ok because he's a guy. NOT! He is not worthy enough to be upset about this. If it was me in this situration, I would probably laugh in his face. Your better than him.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (7 September 2006):
So I assume that your boyfriend never passes wind?? What a loser? As someone else said, he wss only using that as an excuse, you are perhaps better off without such a complete fool. xXx
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A
female
reader, keepitreal +, writes (7 September 2006):
It seems like he was already thinking about breaking up with you he just needed a reason. Forget him if i were you I would fart on his face. your better off without him
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (7 September 2006):
 Honey, stop missing him. He used the farting as a wimpy excuse to break up with you. A boy like that (regardless of his age) is not worthy of your love.
Get on with life and work on building your self-esteem so that you don't feel the need to be with pieces of shit like that boy.
Good luck and take care.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (7 September 2006):
 Yeah, I agree with everyone else. He's an ass!!! Forget him. I know its hard to do but easy to say. If thats all you did and he dumped you he wasn't serious anyway. Just think if he does get back with you and your relationship really has adversity what will he do then? You don't want to walk on eggshells for him not knowing what will set him off next. Personally, I think is very laughable. Grieve and move on. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (7 September 2006):
 Hi Anonymous,
Wow - that is a really stupid reason to dump someone. I'm assuming that he never does that? Anon, you are really lucky that you had the advantage of knowing what kind of person this guy is before your relationship progressed any further. Instead of thinking about him so much and therefore missing him, there are probably better things you could be doing that will occupy your mind.
I would start looking for someone who isn't so uptight (and someone who also passes gas as opposed to someone who is actually a robot?). Hang out more with your friends, get involved in a hobby, go have fun! You seriously deserve better than that guy.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (7 September 2006):
 Sorry but is this for real ?
I mean passing wind is something that at some point or other we all have to do! No matter how much we hold it in sometimes it happens and its a natural bodily function!
Only an insensitive idiot would dump you over it... Best off without him if you ask me!
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A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (7 September 2006):
I guess you could apologise again but I am not sure you should as you haven't actually done anything wrong. We all pass wind and we can't always control it - surely everyone realises this?
Could he have possibly wanted to end things with you and used this as the reason? Or was you accidentally passing wind the real reason - and if so he must have an unusual sort of intolerence or problem with that sort of thing.
I would have a good think about getting back with him as he can't have valued you too highly if he dumped you over such a small thing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): Honey, if your BF dumped you because of something that is human nature for all of us...you're totally wasting your time missing this Shallow JERK!
Find someone who will Love Ya no matter what!
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