A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure if I'm looking for people who have been through the same thing, or if I'm looking for advice. Any kind of reply would be appreciated.My b/f of 3 years is very close with his ex girlfriend's cousin. This cousin is getting married in 2 months, and my boyfriend AND his ex will be in the wedding. Now, my b/f was with his ex for 2 1/2 years. The relationship ended mutually. However, she caused a lot of problems in the beginning of the relationship, always texting him and e-mailing him (usually he ignored or would write a very short response) and it was obvious that she was jealous that he had moved on. She hasn't tried contacting him for about 1.5 years, after he told her to stop contacting him, because it was hurting me and our relationship. Anyway, now I'm worried sick about this upcoming wedding. They haven't seen each other in almost 3 1/2 years, but just the thought of them being in a wedding together makes me sick. My bf wanted me to go to the wedding as his date, but I told him no, because I wouldn't know a single person and I'd be sitting alone since he's in the wedding party. I'm just really scared (and I'll admit, a little jealous) that they're both going to be at this wedding. I know I can't do anything about it, but I'm just scared that she'll start to contact him again.I know I'm probably overreacting, because my bf didn't do anything wrong. I just can't stand her, and it's her I'm worried about. If anyone has been through anything like this, please reply. Or, feel free to let me know if I'm just being the typical jealous female. :-) Thanks.
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cousin, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 You shot yourself in the foot by turning down the invitation to the wedding. Your boyfriend has done nothing wrong but you're really over reacting and only looking at the worst case scenario. They will talk and socialize, why shouldn't they? Why don't you trust him?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Stay at home, stop flapping about take some deep breathes.
Its clear to see he cares about your feelings to want you to go. Personaly if I was you i'd stay home, get some chocs in and enjoy a girly movie. You are in a good relationship. Don't let your insecurities get the better of you.
Enjoy
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A
female
reader, alice pine +, writes (29 October 2007):
why did you say no?! hell yea i would go. be a jealous female. i've had ex skank problems to. ya sit by ya self boo hoo but the reception is what you should worry about. Do you really want that female dancing with your man? you said you didnt know anybody so you would never know. But do you trust him? she knows ya'll are together. They haven't talked, so it sounds like you have nothin to worry bout... but if you still have the option to go, take it.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Well you are being a little bit of a jealous female but I think you have a right to be. All the same, you answer your problem within your problem. You trust your boyfriend. Nothing could happen unless two people want it to and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is up for anything happening between then. Remember that the crazy ex will be buffered by all her family who will stop her from doing silly things. What I think it comes down to is that your bf wants to see his close friend get married. That's why he;s going, not to see this girl. Let him go and support him. It'll be a hard enough day for him as it is! Good luck!
CD
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A
male
reader, Karlos Omnis +, writes (29 October 2007):
 You have to think of the other side of the fence.
Three and a half years is a long time, and she's probably moved on as well, and could be in her own long term relationship now.
In the period that ehy've been out of touch, they have undergone some changes, they might not even like what each other have become.
Sure they'll talk at the wedding, have a brief catch up as it'll be the civil thing to do.
Seeing as how he invited you to go with him, and how up front about everything he's been, i really would say that there isn't anything to worry about.
From what I read he's infatuated with you. Nad it's always healthy to feel a little jealous, be worrying if you didn't
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