A  ,
anonymous
writes:Hey I got a boyfriend, I'm 16 and he's my first love. I love him soo much. The problem is he doesn't believe me. I tell him i do, i try to explain how i feel and what I'm feeling, but he just gets moody. Its starting to be all the time. He tells me he loves me, and then i say i love him too but then he questions me. How do i know what love is? He's never normal around me any more. Its getting stupid and out of hand. I dont know how i can prove my love for him, what can i do?? please help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2006): you should never have to proove it, he should believe what you tell him , and you need to set bounderies for your self other wise you'll keep getting pushed further and furthur until you'l beat your self up about it it'l be even harder to get out of the mess HE has created, your boyfriend doesnt realise or have any consideration for your feelings and wrapped up in what he wants, he has probly had many other girl friends and quickly fallen for them and not to sounds nasty hes probly fallen for you and the same way and the glitz and the rush of the first time has slowly warn off ,are you sure you not crazy in lust? and were caught up in the first few weeks of happiness and now clinging on to try and hope it comes back ? you shouldnt have to try so hard, theres somebody out there for you that will care and love you the way you deserve to be and you learn from your mistakes and this can only be a learning curve. deep downn in your heart you know you have to get past the but i love him . and really see him for who he is.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2006): you shouldn't have to prove anything. he shoudlnt be the 1 goin in a mood wiv u, u should be in a mood with him for being such an idiot! its seems like he has some metal problems
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female
reader, sugersweet02 +, writes (22 August 2006):
 look saying i love you dont mean anything but if you show it thats different show him all types of love and quit donw saying you love him it might turn him off and making him think if your just saying it and dont mean it.he wants action and only you can do that best of luck xox please rate my comment xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): You can't really prove your love for someone as such (well, we've all seen Romeo and Juliet but look how many people had to die)
Saying "I love you" doesn't necessarily mean any thing, any one can speak those words.
Love is proved (or more SHOWN) by the way you treat your partner.
Your boyfriend is very young, and emotionally inexperienced at relationships and it is not a good sign that he is being this way. It is a sign of deep insecurity and paranoia. You say it's getting out of hand, and I agree things will get worse too.
The next time he doubts you, tell him something like:
"Love is shown in the way that you treat someone, respect them and care about them. I'm not going to keep trying to prove my love for you; I shouldn't have to. You can either trust me, or you can find someone else"
You might think these are hard words - but - as you will come to see - you need to set boundaries with people such as your boyfriend. Before long, he'll have you feeling guilty for speaking to your friends, sleeping with his mates and just, well, making your life miserable. You need to stop him from being this way, but to do so, you need strength knowing what you are doing is for the best.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): PROVE? excuse me? i agree with hannieseds, if you have to prove ANYTHING, then it's "bye bye baby" for him. and no he's not "testing" you like a great sensai.he's just paranoid! and if you're telling him the truth, and he doens't beleive you, chances are next time he thinks you're cheating on him (when you're not) he won't beleive you either. so break it up with him and if he finally becomes mature about it--he'll come back to you and notice it was HIS mistake. give him time to learn that he's being a jerk--hes the problem. not you.
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female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Hi there, Your boyfriend is very insecure. You have to remember that this is your first love and there will be many more. I found my first love when I was your age and I was with him for a year and a half we had our own flat tgether and everything. He was the same as your boyfriend insecure, he started to change in a big way. He soon left me and I was broken hearted. I cried every night for a year because I missed him. But all of a sudden I met this fantastic guy who I am with still, and I love him with all my heart. I am glad me and my ex have finished because I would never of met the love of my life. I dont regret being with my ex though as he taught me a lot about relationships. That is what you have to think about this is your first love and there will be more. Just think about your relationship now as experience. End it if he doesnt make an effort and have some fun. Then one day out of the blue true love will come and hit you in the face. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, he is really confusing me. your right why isnt my word good enough? but he is very paranoid, hes now saying i dont appreciate him?! but i do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): You can't expect him to believe you. He wouldn't even know what love is in the first place. Some people at that age have very vague and naive ideas of what love is. So it's possible that he thinks that whatever you have done and/or feeling towards him isn't what he think is love perpetually.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): Do nice little things for him,
Make him some cakes with I LOVE YOU iced on,
or just give him time,
it seems like his unassurance of you
is just really reflecting his fears
maybe that he doesnt know what love is,
im sure he loves you, but maybe hes just a bit like AAH IM ONLY 16 AND IM IN LOVE AND IM CONFUSED. I know I was.! (if he is 16)
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female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Hey there,
You do not need to PROVE anything to him! He love you, so why isn't your word good enough?
Sounds to me like this boy is a little to immature to give and receive this kind of love. If someone love you, like he says he does you, then he should in no way question you when you say it, especially when he has no basis for throwing it back in your face!
I imagine that is really hurting you because he is causing you to question what you are really feeling, and no one should make you feel like that.
If you really really really love this boy and want to prove it to him ( I definitely wouldn't because if your word isn't good enough for expressing your love, what other issues you bring up in the future aren't going to be good enough?) then write him a letter and write bullet points of all the things you love about him - try aiming for 1000 things, but then again, that probably isn't good enough for him. x
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