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My BF always hugs his girl friends and this makes me utterly jealous!

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *renched writes:

I Love My Boyfriend Sooo Much. But It Just Kills Me When He Hugs All His Other friends!! We are soooo close, we were always best friends before we went out.

Everyone Thought he was Gay before we started going out, and all his other friends are girls! When ever they see each other They hug! And I get SOOOO jealous!!! I'm okay when he hugs his friends that are my friends too. but when he hugs the people i don't know so well and when he spends time with them, it kills me!

To make it worse, one of them claims to be in love with him!!! and she invited him to a 3 day sleep over at her house and he went!!! I have no idea what went on there! But I nearly Cry every time He blows me off for one of them!

I'm Supossed to be his GirlFriend........but it's really killing me!

View related questions: best friend, jealous

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A female reader, Pinky XxX United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2008):

Pinky XxX agony auntTalk to him, ask him if he's seeing anyone else you'll know if he's lying if he can't look in your eye and tell you he's not or any of the classic signs.

Or,

It's a case of wether you trust him enough to believe he is only staying over as a friend and that he only loves you.

Hope that helps =]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008):

sorry to say he is sleeping at her house and taking her clothes off and giving her one while your home crying that is no man hes a little boy your blind not to see and your giving him to much credit so believe the truth and wake up smell the condoms and dirty bed sheets shes messing around on you trash him, he isnt keeping it in his pants if you know what i mean and has no respect for you

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A female reader, little_laura0 United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2008):

it's understandable why you would be upset by this. if he was in your shoes, where you were sleeping over guys houses who fancied you, i'm sure he wouldn't like it. i'm sure there are alot of people out there who wouldn't tolerate it and it doesn't seem unreasonable that it's upsetting you.

Have you tried talking to him about it and tell how it's making you feel? also, has it occured to him to take you with him?

You also need to think, if things arn't going well and if he isn't willing to change his behaviour, which is making you feel sad, is it worth all the pain? all the upset and worry is very tiring and if it's like that the majority of the time, is it really worth it? a relationship with some one should make you feel happy alot of the time.

i'm not saying you should finish it with him, but i do think you need to bring these issues to his attention, because it could start a wedge between you two. if he loves and cares for you enough, he should realise that what he is doing is hurting you and should try to reach a compromise.

with the whole gay thing, nowa days people are very open about their sexuality so why wouldn't he open up about it? as you have been best friends, before dating it would have become clear whether or not he was. he's also going out with you.

good luck with it all and i really hope you sort it all out. i hope my advice has helped xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008):

I can imagine how u feel, it must be difficult.

But the thing is, he has lots of girl friends so he could have gone out with any of them, but he chose u to be his girlfriend! That's really good!

Does he know that this bothers you? If he doesn't, maybe u could say and he can tell u that there's nothing to worry about.

Let us know how it goes!

xx Hope xx

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A male reader, Paladin United States +, writes (9 March 2008):

Paladin agony auntHugging other people means nothing if he is loyal to you. The question is loyalty. Sleeping over at another girls house is reason for concern and I seriously doubt he would want you sleeping over another guys house for three days. I am assuming there were no other people involved in the sleep over since you didn't mention it. If there were other people invited I suppose the question would be why weren't you invited. Please pardon the crude expression, but this does not pass the sniff test. Sorry but you may not have the realtionship you think you have and if it were me I would not accept his sleeping over at another girls house for three days. Actually I think you are just hoping someone here will tell you that everything is ok but in my opinion it is not. His sleeping over was an insult to you and the longer you stay in this relationship the more you will get hurt.

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