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My best friend's bf kissed me plus, what should I do now??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My bestfriend and I were supposed to hangout. It was gonna be her and her boyfriend me and my friend Brent. Her boyfriend was driving us. Both Brent and my bff had to cancel to do something else so me and her bf decided to just go hang at the mall together. We hung out for about 4-5hrs. He drove me home and right before i got out he said "wait." I turned around and he kissed me then we started to make out!! I then went in my house. We've been txting since then but my bff still doesnt know amd idk what to do!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010):

That was really selfish of you, you should of pulled away, told him off and called your best friend.. Im sorry but if he does stuff behind her back, she has a right to know.

But since its allready done.. You cannot do that. But what you should do is stop the txting end it all. tell her what has been going on and appolagize, suggest that she should break up with him.. obviously.. thats what i would do. but if you are so madly in love with this so called man. just think. what if he does the same thing to you that he did to your best friend. NO PROBLEM. NO NEED TO THANK.

SINCERLY, ANONYMOUS!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010):

you are screwing up a friendship for a two timing bf? (your best friends) what goes around comes around. have you heard of the saying with a friend like you who needs enemies?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (15 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntWell there goes that friendship!

I know some impulses can be hard to control, but really. You need to realize that EVERY action has a reaction.

She will find out. One way or another.

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A female reader, 1989BABY United States +, writes (15 July 2010):

1989BABY agony auntYou're wrong! Thats your friends boyfriend you had no right. You're not being a very good friend by hiding that from her! You should let her know what you did and let her decide if she can forgive and move on. And why would you as her best friend make out with him? C'mon now!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010):

I think you should just tell him you can't go through with this but that maybe if your bff finds someone else (which he could gently encourage her to do) you can be together. Best wishes lovesickcracker... stink I can't remember what the number I put at the en of that was! Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010):

if you want to keep your best friend, she needs to know what happened. Now. Before she finds out thru someone else. Tell her bf you are not going to continue cheating and allowing him to cheat, and betraying your best friend! Then go and tell your friend that he kissed you. Tell her you're really sorry and that you dont want to see him or hang out with him. Hope that your friendship is strong enough. My best friend did something similar to me in high school. We didnt talk for over a yr. We since patched things up but its a hard process. If you dont tell your friend now, you will lose her friendship for good. And no guy should be worth that

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (15 July 2010):

TimmD agony auntAhhhhhh, gotta love being a teenager with raging hormones. First of all, you don't just go to the mall to "hang out". You both have raging hormones for each other. You wanted this and he did too.

There's not much we can say because you're going to just let your hormones dictate your actions. I say that because if you thought about it logically first, you wouldn't have wanted to betray your friend. Unfortunately, you want her boyfriend more than her friendship. You knew something like this may happen the second you agreed to hang out with him, and only him.

You've already lost your friend. She will find out and won't like it one bit.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010):

You are very young, but you are not too young to have morals. This is wrong and you know it.

STOP IT NOW. Tell this boy that you regret what you two did, that you wish it had never happened, and that you will not betray your friend this way. Stop replying to his texts. True friends simply do not do things such as this to each other.

SOME teens today seem to be so nasty and vindictive about things like this. I don't know your friend, so I can't advise you whether it would be best to tell her or not. She could accept your apology, or she could turn nasty. Keep in mind that there is also the possibility that HE could tell her, although unlikely.

At this age, there are sooo many boys to date. Find your own, sweetie, and good luck.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2010):

Stop seeing him NOW. First of all, you're stabbing your friend in the back. That's bad, and believe me that is something that will seriously leave your reputation damaged. If your friend finds out, you'll lose her and other friends, and no guys will trust you.

Secondly, this guy is a cheat. If he cheats on his current girlfriend, you can be sure he will cheat on you.

Leave him well alone, or you'll lose the lot and be seen as hugely untrustworthy and highly unpopular.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010):

Well this is kind of a sticky situation but i think its best to stop unless you want to lose ur best friend and idk if u think this guy is worth it. At one point i did the same thing and the guy ends up blaming u and it ends up with u having to re-build trust with ur friend or losing her forever ....lets put it this way what would u do if she did the same thing to you how would you react?

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