A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I hope you can help me out with a friend of mine.Me and her have been best friends for 8 years. Her dad is a jehovah's witness and over the years she has gradually become one herself. Just a few months ago she told me she won't be celebrating christmas anymore nor any birthday celebrations. Now, the issue is, it's my 18th birthday in just under 2 weeks and am having a party, and although I accept her religious views, I cannot understand why she will not attend my party. I don't feel I am being selfish by trying my hardest to persuade her, she has only decided on not celebrating birthdays etc within the past couple of months and I regard her choices as unofficial. I think she's confused and doesn't really know what she's doing, just following her dad as a role model. I've asked her continuously if she will come but she clearly is not keen, in a way she's letting me down as I really want her there. I even suggested that she could just make this occasion a one-off, and make a fresh start in 2010 but she won't have any of it.Am I being unreasonable or is there any way I could persuade her to come?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 December 2009):
 it wasnt unreasonable to ask her but I think its unreasonable to continue to try and get her to change her mind.
Jehovah's Witness believe that Christmas and other celebrations have a non Christian basis, and they also believe Birthday parties give an excessive importance to individuals (I cant see the problem with that, but I am not a JW!).
I think you have to accept your friend for what she is and not try to change her, and it would appear she is a JW.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): Why doesn't she celebrate Christmas if she is a Christian, that is just insane.
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A
female
reader, Dinkie +, writes (16 December 2009):
even if you think her choice is unofficial she may have officialy made up her mind. that is upto her and you should respect that.
i know thats not the answer you are hoping for but theres nothing you can do. respect your friend and stop asking her to go to your party
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 December 2009):
You're not being unreasonable to ask her, but I don't think she will come. Clearly her own beliefs prevent her from coming. Please don't think she doesn't like you, or doesn't want to be your friend. It's nothing like that. If she believes she can't come, then I don't think she can. Maybe ask if she would just like to go out some time with you, not in any party atmosphere. But don't try to change her beliefs. She has to do what she believes is right.
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