A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i was in a relationship wid a guy for 2 yrs. we broke up last yr coz his mother didnt accept me since i didnt belong to that caste. the guy got married within 6 months. but am still struggling to get over him. sometimes i feel i am over him, sometimes i feel i am as miserable as i was last yr.i have stopped being in touch with him after the breakup but whenever i get any news about him, i get really disturbed. i feel i have been cheated coz i am not able a digest the fact tht a guy who loved me, who was so protective about me can move on so easily (like gettin into another relationship in 3-4 months).Now my parents are looking out for a match for me since i have reached tht marriagable age. but somehow am not really interested. i sometimes feel that i can never fall in love again.i really dunno wht to do... please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): Will you are in a prob. ok here is my advice to you the best thing you can do is get ride of everything that reminds you of him. if he really loved you he wouldn't have listion to his mom and stad with you. time can only tell what will happen. pray to god to help you and your'll get throw this on step at a time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Well i have joined the gym, yoga and a trekking group... i hv started being in touch wid old friends, travelling and all i can do to feel better... but its just temperory. but when am alone, i cannot control those thoughts.
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A
male
reader, Wontonbomb  +, writes (16 December 2009):
 Any and all breakups are terrible to go through. I'm very sorry you feel this way.
But lets try and focus on making you feel better!
Nobody can be with someone for 2 years and just eliminate them from their mind. It must be very difficult to know he got married again so quickly, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel the same way about losing you. You have said that somedays you feel fine. You need to find what it is that is helping you feel better and focus on that, whether it is an activity or a friend or family member.
You have said that you broke up because his mother didnt approve. Was the relationship he went into arranged? If that is the case then it doesn't sound to me like he wanted to leave you at all, in which case I can guarentee he is miserable about the situation. As I said, 2 years is too long to not care about someone.
Now this won't make you feel better, but you need to know that everyone goes through this pain and heartache. It's how you deal with it that makes you a better person. You have to take control of your life and force yourself to stay active and keep your mind occupied. I think wherever you are getting your news from about him you need to stop that channel. Take up a hobby, stay with friends and family, keep busy all the time. You dont feel like you can love again but believe me, just the fact that you have days when you are fine shows that you will one day feel like that all the time. That is when you will be ready.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): It hurts, I understand, but just get out there and meet new people, maybe you won't "forget" about him, but you can't stay lonely and dwell on the past forever.
Don't get your parents to look out for a match for you, it's bound to go wrong :)
I has to be someone YOU like, who YOU've met and who YOU can see yourself spending time with ...
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