A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basically the question is, am I making a bigger deal of this than I should.Here's the situation:So, I've always wanted at least one or two small tattoos. That's it. But I'm not going to get them until I'm older. So what I did was I took the time to create my own and put a lot of time into them so I wouldnt' regret them after I got them. They incorporated my favorite band along with a deeper meaning that I really liked, so they meant a lot to me because they were my own. You know when you're really proud of something you did you want to show everyone? Well I did. I showed my mom and she liked them and thought it was great that I had put so much thought into them. Then I went to show my best friend. The problem is, she liked one of them, a lot. So she said "That's awesome! I might get that too." and my excitement immediately fell away. "But I came up with it, it's mine." And she just said "Yeah, but it's really good." As if that meant she could just have it. And to point out, she hadn't wanted it until I told her my meaning behind it. I was frustrated and didn't know what to say that I just stopped talking. (She's been known to steal people's ideas a lot). The problem with my tattoo idea, is that it's only two simple words, but I created a special meaning to them. So I really can't prevent her from stealing it.When I had told her about them the first time, it had been several months ago, like sometime within the last couple months of 2010. So hoping by now she had forgotten them, I felt a little better. But I was wrong to feel so. In April, we went to a concert of my favorite band. We got a cupcake stamped onto our hands and enjoyed the rest of the day. Well days later at school, I was watching some of the videos I had taken on the computer and she saw it. So she's like "That was so awesome, you know I'm going to get a tattoo with the cupcake and (my two words) underneath." That set me off again, "I already told you that's my idea." She just had the same reply "But it's really good." I sort of mumbled "Well, why can't you come up with one yourself." But she didn't hear me.Basically, the problem is, I now cannot get this tattoo. Because it no longer has the same meaning i put with it. Instead if I were to get it, it would be "the tattoo that was no longer mine." or the one that got stolen. I wouldn't be able to think of it the way I had meant for it to mean. And I had thought originally that it had been a really good idea and I couldn't wait to get it.Am I making too big of a deal of this?
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male
reader, Shinobi 18  +, writes (25 May 2013):
I have a similar problem. i've had the japanese for shinobi tattood on my leg for about 5 years already. now i went for my cats face on my arm and suddenly my friends are on the tattoo bandwagon. now my "best friend" wants a shinobi sign on his arm. i'm not the owner of the shinobi sign, but i don't want a carbon copy of myself walking around. can't people think of their own ideas? it's ^^^^ng me. i would never end a friendship over a tattoo, but i need a way to corrupt his thoughts enough so he won't get it done. my cat's name is shinobi. i had her for a year before i joined a ninjitsu school, where i learned shinobi skills. i AM SHINOBI d^^^^t. i feel your pain. it sucks because my first tat was a big tribal on my calf. next thing, my friends cousin gets a tattoo almost identical to mine in the same place.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 she is refusing to hear you isn't she? tell her straight that as a friend you would like her to respect your feelings in this matter and tell her that you will look like dicks if you both have the same and as you are the one that came up with the idea, you are really not happy with looking like a dick for her sake.
its i suppose quite sweet that she admires your idea enough to get it permanently tattooed on herself and you know 'the sincerest form of flattery is imitation' but i am with you on this OP. she obviously has no confidence in her own ideas and style. have you thought about designing another one, just for her?
x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): Hi guys. I posted this question. And I'm really glad for all the answers. I think I'm going to do what you guys say and just get it anyways and not let her get to me. This is to marieclaire: I know it's not completely my idea. I'm sure others have one just like it. I'm just saying what bothered me was that she only wanted to get it after I told her my meaning behind it. But thank you for your answer :)
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female
reader, trshly +, writes (23 May 2011):
 Chances are, if the tattoo is really meaningful to you, you will still have that same initial intrest and love for it when it is time to get it done.
For her, it's more of a fleeting idea. It seems great at the time but eventual it will dull out and she wont care for it as much.
I would just avoid talking about it to her and when its time for you to get it done don't tell her. If she gets it done after you anyway, every single time someone asks you guys about it you'll be able to say, "Oh, I designed this and she liked it so I guess she got it too."
You'll look like the trendsetter, and no one likes a copycat =3
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): I agree with Rescuer, in my opinion she is right. you have to talk to your friend about how much this has upset you that she wants to have the tattoo which was originally your idea, for herself. Explain to her how much that tattoo meant to you and that you are flattered that she thinks it is a good idea and would like it herself, that is was your idea originally and you dont want her to copy it.I really hope my advice helps you and that you talk to your friend, keep us posted, good luck!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 May 2011):
 "Tyson tattoo artist sues to block 'Hangover 2'", this guy is sueing over a tattoo maybe you could if your friend copies it. I've got a better idea, don't get a permanent tatto just use magic markers.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): As long as there have been ideas there has been someone behind the scenes to steal those ideas and sometimes take credit for them.If you came up with the tattoo and it has meaning for you, then I would say screw it and get it anyway. It was your original idea and you are getting it inked onto your skin because it means something to you, I think that a tattoo should mean something to the person it's inked on and not just something they got because it looks cool. Only stupid people that don't have an original thought of their own copy other people.Since your friend seems to copy other people a lot, that tells me she can't think for her self and therefore has to copy off of other people. It's always been that way. Always. There will always be people that are going to copy other people's ideas. It's called a trend. And they aren't going away anytime soon.I think you need to come to terms with that and don't care about what other people think. So what, she want's the same tattoo as you, if she gets it and you do too, then when she shows her's off, you can say yeah, she got her's after I showed her my design.It's not going to be her tattoo, not her's originally. It's yours.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): Personally I don't think you're making a big deal out of this, my best friend copies absolutely everything I ever do and always has done. Everyone always says it's flattering and they don't get how annoying it is, it's a pain in the butt to have someone copy you constantly and personally I'm sick of my best friend doing it and I don't blame you for being annoyed too. This might sound really mean but to get her to stop copying my every idea and thought, when we were arranging our subjects for sixth form I told her four subjects I wasn't taking and then she wrote them down and handed her paper in. Later I admitted what I was really taking and why I had done it, she's only copied me once since then and we did that in January. So although it's mean and classed as lying, it works. Maybe you should draw another tattoo and get her to like that one and maybe you can still have the one you wanted all along and it will still be special to you. Try not to let it bug you too much because it may ruin your friendship with this person. Good luck, I hope this helped you a little bit.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 That's the problem with tattoo's... Once people see it and thinks it's cool, they can copy it. ANYBODY who see's it, friend or stranger.
Tribal tattoos used to be cool, now every man and his dog has them. Same with the barbed wire arm bands... tattoos on girls just above the buttocks used to be sexy, now they're known as "tramp stamps". Yet there was someone who came up with the original idea for all of these once very cool tattoos. You kinda have to get used to the idea that what you brand yourself with can be copied by anyone... and it can become very uncool. It can be a form of flattery or a form of plagiarism... depending on your perspective.
I'm still designing a tattoo that I want and its going to be very intricate- simply so that its unique and I don't intend getting it done until I'm absolutely certain I want it... whether that takes months or years, I think its worth taking the time for something that I'll be wearing forever. You're 16/17... just think of all the time you can spend designing a new tattoo... or just feel comfortable knowing that your "friend" is a poser and get the tattoo that YOU designed regardless.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 May 2011):
 I think you are. But, I also understand why you're completely annoyed. She sounds kind of annoying.
I would think of yourself as a tattoo designer. She loves your design and wants to put it on her body. To her it will have an entirely separate meaning than what it means to you. My fella is a graphic designer and constantly designs tattoos for others. While he interprets them one way, they'll interpret it entirely different - beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?
I wouldn't be too hung up on where else your design is. It still means the same thing to YOU - don't let anyone take that away from you. Take a deep breath and tried to be flattered that your tattoo design has gotten so popular. It still is yours, don't think that just because someone else has it too, that it's not still yours! I have an outline of a heart on my ankle (a testament to my wimpier years), and meet lots of people with the same one. That doesn't make mine feel less special, because it's got a special meaning just between me and it. She's not taking the meaning away from your cupcake and words - you are!
That's my take, at least. Good luck, sweet!
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