A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been blowing my best friend since I was 16. Now I am 25. I’m gay, but my best friend is not. He really is straight. He will mostly watch straight or lesbo porn when I blow him. he let me do it because he’s ugly and he doesn’t have a girlfriend. But I love him very much. I know its not healthy. My best friend even said he is only using me till he gets a girl and ask if I’m ok with that and I understand. Its fine with me. so he is not to blame.Anyway, I have 2 gay friends. One day when I was very depressed, I told both my gay friends that I have been blowing my best friend. and I was in love with him an all. I only told them because I was sad and they were asking for it. they were saying they could only help me if I let them know whats going on. Then they both asked my best friend if it was true and if it was, to not use me. my best friend was mad at me for telling them. He’s straight and he doesn’t want anyone to think he’s gay. He says if one day they told anyone else then this would be the end of our friendship. And that day he will never forgive me. I should have kept quiet. I should have. But its been done. And there’s no way to fix it. I love my best friend and even if I can never be in a relationship with him, I still don’t want our friendship to end. How am I going to fix this? Should I tell my gay friends not to tell anyone? But how can I let my best friend know that they will never tell anyone else for sure? Even now our friendship is kinda ruined because of it. but he still talks to me and we still hang out. I still blow him sometimes.But I really want a solution for this problem. This is unhealthy for me. I regret it so much and I feel so guilty. but I can’t do anything about it. Should I tell my gay friends to let my best friend know that secret is safe with them? But they both don’t like my best friend. and they might tell my best friends other friends. And even if they can never prove that i blow my best friend, if they tell all our friends , then everything is ruined. All our friends will atleast be suspicious.I really don’t know what to do. Please help me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): i just like to say thanx to everyone for replying.
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Wow... this is a pretty messed up situation. First, you really shouldn't have told anyone else about the 'services' you've been rendering... but now that you have the cat's out of the bag... so to speak. All you can do now, is talk to your gay friends - the ones you told - and ask them not to tell anyone else. If they value your friendship... they'll honor your word. If not, well perhaps you shouldn't be friends with them.As for your 'best' friend, that you've been blowing all this time. I have to agree with everyone else here. He's definitely NOT straight - AT ALL! He's just using you. Not someone _I_ would choose to have as a best friend... an occasional 'fuck buddy' maybe... but not a best friend.I would say it's time to start cutting back on how much time you spend with him... and find a real boy-friend that you can have sex with and more importantly - love.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): This is ridiculous your friend is making you his slave and you still want to be his friend...I am sorry but your friend is such a jerk no straight guy will actually want another guy to blow him....He is definitely gay or a bisexual....And you said that you dont want to lose your friendship with him....If blowing him is the type of friendship and that is what you mean...By all means i dont think you should be friends with him....And i think that you need to talk to him and ask him that no two male friends will actually ask one to blow another for 8 years, and ask him to define your relationship...And ask him if he knows that what he is asking you to do is gay and that he has to come out of the closet....And for your 2 gay friends i think that they really care a lot for you but try talking to them and see if they are ok with keeping your "straight" friends secret... All the best but please stop blowing him have some self respect for yourself that friend of yours said that he is going to forget about you once he has a girfriend then why do you want to waste your life and time....Go look for a nice guy that is worth blowing....This friend of yours is blocking your way from you living a happy life....
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A
female
reader, justme4me  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Obviously,your friend is a snippy,self involved dude who has no good thoughts whatsoever about/for you.personally,i don't think you did anything wrong by pouring out your heart to your gay friends who actually should be your best friends.forget about him and get close to a friend who wouldn't be ashamed of his sexuality or even deny it.face it,your best friend is BISEXUAL to the core but doesn't want to low for reasons only him knows.get over it.
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A
female
reader, curtiskd +, writes (20 October 2010):
i think that you should just give him up he is selfish for doing that to you and no you shouldnt have kept your mouth closed i think if he can have you do that to him then he should be able to tell people and you care for him you shouldnt have to keep that inside and when he gets a girl then your going to be hurt about it so i think you should end it before it goes to far cause sooner or later your going to get hurt and he wont have no effect and the time that you have waisted on him is time that could spent finding some one who will appreciate you
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): Honestly this friend doesn't seem like a friend at all. He only cares about himself and his pride. Sorry to say but I think you should find a better friend than him. I hope everything works out for you.
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female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 yea i agree that you shouldve kept quite but whats done is done.i agree with the others,he is bi if he let you blow him for so many years.you would be better off without him because you wil be hurt after he gets a gf.thats where his attention wil be.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Your best friend is a crappy one..He's also in denial of being gay or bisexual. I don't know of a single straight man who would let a man blow him because he wasn't getting any action. He's using and manipulating you for sexual favors the only thing you're getting in return is false hope that he'll fall in love with you. Your friendship is ruined, but he's still wanting you to blow him..see the vicious cycle repeating itself. Basically, you're like a 17 year old girl getting used for sex by a 19 year old but of course the 17 year old is blinded by the fact she thinks she's in love. Break off this friendship, it's not going anywhere but blowing.
Gay guys are such gossipers, I'm afraid they would tell someone else and your friend's skeleton would be out of the closet. Well at least my gay friends are...they're like an old fridge they can't keep anything. Ask them out of respect to you if they would keep the secret to themselves. But I wouldn't be surprised if word gets out. We all make mistakes, take this unhealthy situation as a big one..and find a man who won't take advantage of you.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I just want to state that as a straight woman I would never agree to having any girl, best friend or not, eat me out, because I couldn't find a boyfriend.
And trust me, straight, actual straight men, are the same way. They don't want a dude down there, they want a chick down there.
This guy is at least bisexual. Whether he wants to admit it or not, he is. He is also a user. He's so deep into the closet and his pride is so overwhelmingly strong that he was more concerned about what people thought about him then your feelings of depression about what you two do behind closed doors.
You must talk to this guy and tell him how you feel and my guess is that he won't want a relationship with you if he states that he is not into men, then you should not let this happen again after speaking to him. Explain to him that its been effing with your head and its become unhealthy.
good luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): aw hunny i feel really bad for you. I hope u dont mind me saying but this seems like such a crap situation. To me it sounds as though u have been used and ur feelings taken advantage of. I understand that u love ur friend but you need to let him no that your not going to stand for this treatment any more and spend time with the friends that value you!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 There are many bad guys out there, and this person you've met is one of them. He has been using you for years, taking advantage both of your sexual preferences and your feelings for him. Yet, when someone else knows what he's been doing, he's only concerned about people not thinking that he's gay. He doesn't seem concerned about people not knowing he abuses people.
Well, in my books, a man who lets another man give him blow jobs for nine years is bisexual at the very least.
You shouldn't have told your gay friends about your arrangement. But you did. I don't think, however, that anyone would hold it against you.
I think you're better off without this man. You can find someone else, a better person, maybe honestly gay.
Now, the bad news: he did this to you during nine long years because you agreed to it. Make it your business to never ever let someone do that to you again.
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male
reader, Ven +, writes (20 October 2010):
You can talk to your gay friends, and ask them to do you a favor and keep the secret. You should also talk to your best friend, and be honest with him.
You love this friend, and he is using you. It bothered you enough to admit it to your other friends when you were depressed about it. You need to let your best friend know that what the two of you are doing is damaging to you.
If he is more concerned with his pride than with you, I don't know what to tell ya. I would hope you realize that you need to find a man who loves you enough not to be ashamed of you.
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female
reader, soconfusedhelp +, writes (20 October 2010):
 WOW. okay, im a sixteen year old girl, but it seems like hes just using you. i know this may sound harsh, but do you really think youd be friends if you werent blowing him? what id say to do is to NOT continue blowing him. tell him how you feel, and if he deffintily doesnt have feelings for you, then you need to just let him go. youre going to end up getting hurt and its going to feel way worse than a dick in the throat. and as for you being worried about your two gay friends knowing, dont worry about it. if hes using you, then he should be prepared for the consequences. i hope this helped. (:
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): Nothing you can do now you ratted the non-gay straight man out. By the way not one straight guy would have a guy blow him for 8 years. Not even 8 seconds. You friend is bisexual. He likes men and women but prefer women over men. He's still bi though. Stop hoping for a relationship with a guy who don't want you. Other than that happy sucking.
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