A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So theres this guy, i really like him. We work together...we ended up kissing and hes just so sweet, hes had a hard life and is a few years older than me. He has kids and is divorced. I really like him and he really likes me. My problem from this almost picture perfect situation comes from my best friend. She doesnt like the fact he's divorced and says i pick the "losers"...i understand i dont have the best taste in guys..but ive found one who doesnt want to just have sex he actually wants a relationship and hes fixing his life for him and his kids and he shares many of my standards. My friend was mad we kissed, and is upset about the whole thing and doesnt want me to get attached to him because ill be moving soon. Now the problem gets a little worse...he mentioned he got a job offer to where im moving i joked he should take it and he looked me dead in the eye and said he was going to and he was doing it because of me...i dont know what to do. i love my best friend and shes a huge part of my life but i feel like hes going to be to.Im not sure what to do. i know i need to talk to her about the whole thing because she doesnt know that he and i are so serious but how would i ever start something like that? And if shes so against it should i just drop the whole thing he and i have? I feel like shes being selfish but am i being selfish to? she says hes a great guy but i can do better...i really like him and think hes the best...so whose wrong here? or what should i do?
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female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (12 April 2010):
I think it is your life and she is trying to live it for you. if you think something special is there then why ot go for it. if she is your best friend then she should respect your decision as he is important to you.
you said you are moving, is your friend moving with you? will she be there for you once you have moved?
is your friend single? if so then she is probably jealous and more concerned about losing he pulling partner.
if she has a partner then she shouldn't be stopping you from being in a relationship to.
if your friend has real reason to be concerned for you the listen to her but if she is just critising for the sake of it and purely because she doesn't like him well she isn't the one dating him. she has a different taste in men to you which is a good thing because then the two of you wont go after the same men.
she also has no right in being angry with you for kissing him, its your life you can do what you like.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): I have a best friend who is like this. She's always there for me, yet she doesn't think twice about criticising my lifestyle. She disliked my last boyfriend based on how he dressed, but one day, five years later told me he was lovely and she was so happy I had found him.I always listen to my best friend, and take her advice on board, but I make my own decisions. Ask yourself whether her views are objective - is she jealous? Being a bitch? If it is, ignore her. But if she's concerned that past the initial honeymoon period this guy may be a lot of work, she could have a point.You can have a best friend and a boyfriend. Just make sure you spend enough time with both. Tell your friend, she may not like what you're doing, but you think he's worth taking that risk, and if it goes wrong, it does. Tell her you really appreciate her opinion but you think this one time you'll make your own decision.
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A
female
reader, Mercury4691 +, writes (12 April 2010):
I agree with your best friend. It seems as if this guy has too much drama for you. Your best friend will always be there to look out for you and stop you from making bad decisions. Please don't ditch her for a guy. She may be seeing something bad about this guy that you just don't see. The first few months of a new relationship are always happy and nice so you're only seeing all good things.
I personally have 2 best friends that tell me that I also go for all the wrong guys... and they're so right. Of course I get offended when they meet a guy I really like and they tell me that he sucks, but they're only looking out for me in the long run. I don't feel that your best friend is being selfish. Have a talk with her and have her tell you why this guy is bad for you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 April 2010):
 Her intentions maybe good but it is only her perspective . She may have her own bias and prejudiced views or stereotype opinions of divorced people.
What she says is not the Gospel truth. You don't have to accept them if you think they are not right.
You know what you want and as long as you are happy with him , nothing really matters.
She may think you can do better but it is what you have at hand that concerns you and not about someone who is out there and for all we know may not exist.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): You need to do what is best for you. Unless your friend can give you valid reasons why she doesn't like the guy, she is probably just a.) jealous b.) afraid of losing you and c.) lonely, especially if she is single. You need to talk to her and let her know that while you appreciate her friendship, she should also want you to be happy and this guy makes you happy. Listen to your heart and decide what you truly want to do. Best of luck!
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