A
female
age
41-50,
*hia1978
writes:My boyfriend says he doesn't know what he feels for me and needs to see me to help him decide. I went overseas and he had to move back to his hometown cos he lost his job. We had discussed we could manage a long distance relationship cos we had done fine before he moved in with me. We have been together for 1 and a half years and lived together for 6/7 months. We haven't met for over 2 months. He did tell me a week back that he loves me but isn't in love with me. But then a few days back when he found out that my flatmate (who he's not very fond of) had hit on me, he blasted him and was very very angry. So I guess he's jealous. I did not intentionally do this and told him I wanted no trouble with my flatmate but he still blasted him. We have undergone a tough year with job stress and other external factors and when I left for overseas we were fine. I knew that he was suffering from very low self esteem with his job and finances.He only started acting this way a couple of weeks back. A close friend of his who is also a father figure to him tells me that he dwells too much on negatives and feels unwanted when left alone. So I have sent texts and called him to ensure he doesn't feel that way. His friend also told me that he overanalyses things which he has done all this while I haven't been around.So there are 2 questions here. Does this mean he still holds feelings for me? Since he got so fired up with my flatmate?He is a genuine guy....hasn't cheated on me and was the first to say he loved me even before I fell in love with him.Second question is should I meet him since he cannot make up his mind about us?
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cheated on me, fell in love, flatmate, jealous, long distance, lost his job, moved in, self esteem, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, heather108  +, writes (23 January 2010):
 I'm thinking that after being with him for a year and a half and living together for 6 or 7 months and he still is unsure about his feelings for you only means he's missing the convenience of living with you.
That ain't love babe, so it's time to move on... ;~)
A
male
reader, Sal84  +, writes (23 January 2010):
 Your bf seems to have ongoing financial issues which are constantly on his mind, causing him to become a little unbalanced.The Low Self Esteem issues have to be rectified first and the earlier he work on this, the better for both of you.From what you write, its clear that he does have feelings for you.But at the same time his negativeness & his current financial and job situation make him think of himself as a loser.He needs u the most at this point of time and wants you to be his strenght, rather than his weekness.But at the same time he is getting thougts about him being a loser and he does not want you to end up being with one for the rest of your life.
You should meet him and try to show him the Positive side of life and tell him that he is way better than many other people living in this world today. You should tell him(if u really love him) that you will be by his side no matter what happens.When he starts feeling better about himself, both of you can work on each others career together, providing emotional & moral support whenever needed.
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