A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:would like some answers from male readers. i have been txting a man now for the last 5 mths. we get on great and he is a great person. he lives few hours away and we are meant to be meeting next week. he has seen pics of me but had to take them myself and are just from head to waist. problem is im not slim like i was few years ago. it is on my mind coming up to this meeting and feel like i should tell him so that he wnt be dissapointed.i would feel a great relief also to get this off my mind and to know b4 we meet whether or not i am wasting my time on this person.. should i say something? and if so what is best way to go bout it? please dnt say if hes a great person he will like me for who i am because he still has likes and dislikes. thanx;} Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): I met my bf online 6 months ago. I once asked him if I was a few pounds heavier than in my photo, whether he would have agreed to see me again and he said no. He said he would have been polite and friendly towards me but not arranged a second date.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): Actually I would mention it if you are concerned about it and then you have got everything out into the open. You can make it a jokey comment but still get the point across. The post from Moviefan was a v good one - if there was a point of reference then he will have quite a good idea of what you are like. I wouldn't worry about this at all just concentrate on having fun.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (23 January 2010):
Honey if he likes what he's seen from the waist up... He'll like what he sees from the hips down. And if he doesn't well you will find out soon enough. The best strategy for success is just to be confident and focused on what's good between you two. Kiss worry good bye and romance hello. Good luck!
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female
reader, Miss Karma Louise  +, writes (23 January 2010):
there is always a risk when meeting somebody off of the internet..he must be prepared and you also to have an open mind and deffinatley like you for who you are whilst you were talking on the internet.
if he was intrested i looks i doubt it very much somehow that he'd be looking on the internet id expect he'd be looking in pubs and clubs ect.
just relax and be comfortable with yoyrself..im sure its just a bit of nrevous paranoia..
good luck and make sure he is the person he says he is before meeting up.
x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): No, say nothing, the last thing you want to do is come accross as insecure before you even meet him, that's a huge turn off.
I mean how you would feel if he texted you to tell you he had a small penis and he just wanted to warn you? That's right, you'd be like "um okay" and not about his size but the fact he felt so insecure he had to warn you.
It would be in the back of your mind too wouldn't it? He'd have highlighted something to you that you wouldn't really have cared about until he said it, it would make things a bit awkward needlessly.
This is your insecurity and you can't assume that he'll even give a crap, honestly most of us guys don't even notice or care about a womans weight.
The best way to deal with this is to say nothing at all and just assume, make yourself believe he finds you attractive because he obviously does, the confidence will show and that's a very attractive quality.
Every guy knows that most women are insecure about their weight, no need to make it an issue to hang over what should be a fun relaxing meeting. If you're expecting some kind of shocked reaction from him about your weight then you'll most likely be disappointed, because unless the pics you sent him where done by a professional photographer and airbrushed then he's already examined every detail of your figure.
FYI: most of us guys like a little bit of extra weight, I personally find it very sexy, nice soft curves to caress, mmm.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (23 January 2010):
 did you give him a point of refrence in the photos. So long as he could tell your general size it shouldnt be a problem. And if your worried about your butt or something thats personal preferance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): Hi there! Well, I'm a female but was in a very similar position to yours. And yes, everyone told me the same thing: if he REALLY likes/loves you, it won't matter. And that's what people here are going to tell you as well. However, I was - am still, actually - hopelessly in love with this guy from high school. We were 19 when we hooked up, and hadn't seen each other in TEN YEARS. And the emails, MSNs, texts, calls became very sexual and very explicit. And then he met me. And then... nothing. I was pretty much the same size as when he had seen me last, ie a little chubby, but that was the final dealbreaker for him. Or maybe it was a combination of factors, I don't know, but I would say tell him beforehand that you're trying to lose a few pounds because you've gained some recently from stress at work etc, but BE PREPARED that it may be a dealbreaker. Guys - especially the cute crazy ones - have a tendency to be, yes, that superficial. Don't bank everything on this one person, be yourself, and try and have a good time. But he *may* not reciprocate - be prepared for that.
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