A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my wife for 12 years now married for 5years of that now . she has given me black eyes and more we dont have kids thank god. it been 4years now and iam still in deep love with her sister i have tryed to keep away but all that has done is make me want her more. the wife and i are spliting now, moving out soon .how do i tell her sister that i love her and have for years she is single with one baby and one on way. help! what do i do? i would die for her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, cupidhelper  +, writes (25 September 2007):
dude! Serious?
Her sister looks like your abuser but is more vulnerable because she has one and a half kids!
wehter you want revenge or the family you never had with your wife, you can't do this.
Besides the fact you need space, besides the fact you'll ruin her relationship with her sister for live (something you shouldn't care about for you abusive wife but the unmarried, pregnate one might need)-- you're walking into another screwed up relationship.
where's daddy number one? daddy number 2? she got pregnante and isn't with the guy long enough for the due date-- that messed up. I'm sure think you're a night rushing in to save her, so here's how you don't regret it:
"Tell the sister, I love you, you got me through this, and in a year if you decide you might love me too, give me a call." then stay clear and heal.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): my advise to you is to tell that sister-in-law how you feel about her. tell her that you can't stop thinking about her.
i am in the same situation unfortunately i have had the oppotunity but did not take it, now i feel regretful that i didn't. but i am not giving up hope. i say go for it. tell her you are in love with her. life is too short not to tell the people that we love that we love them or are in love with them. if she says she feels the same about you then you've won, if not tell her you're sorry and move on.
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A
female
reader, JackieR +, writes (24 September 2007):
 You have just came out of a very absusive relationship that lasted a long time, that has bound to have done something to your selfesteam and your self worth, so you must have a time out period and be on your own ( i mean no partner)
You must rebuild your relationship with yourself first before you even think about starting one with someone else, if you don't do this no relationship is going to work out, hope you can see this.
Another thing does she feel the same for you, or are you hoping she does?? Does she know what you went through with your wife? If so are you sure you are not taking her kindness and friendship for something more deeper?? When people are feeling weak in themselves or they have been through hell, the natural thing is to cling to people who are helping us, being kind to us or making us feel good, is this you??
You need to start to feel strong for yourself and start to love yourself again, and only then can you love someone else in the true proper since.
I hoped i have helped!! Keep your sister in law as a friend, and be there for her too and her baby also, but focus on your own growth, and if you two are meant to be together as a proper loving couple then you will find a way!!
Best of luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): The grass is not always greener on the other side you do not say what event in your marriage or you're wifes life that has caused her to be violent. If it is over you must break and have time by yourself to gather stock, nurse some wounds and then see if you're sister in law is still a great deal part of you're thoughts. Please bare in mind she is a single mum and would be put under excessive pressure if you turned up on her doorstep, days after leaving her sister. You do not say if she feels the same, if she doesnt you will make a right prat of yourself and cause a family rift.
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