A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:confused!Dated a wonderful girl for almost 5 years. I was 23-28, she 19-24. It has been over a year since the split (She dumped me). Now I am confused.She didn't give answers other than she fell outta love, and that I wasn't career and goal motivated enough. I have been keeping strictly to myself for about 5 months.Where to start: After she said I wasn't successful enough, she asked if I had regrets. I said that sometimes I wished for the stereotypically hot GF, even though I knew what I had was great/the best..and admitted it made me feel childish and selfish...but i always knew why I stayed...for the real beauty. Turns out she has body issues, and now is completely shut down.I don't know whether I just want closure, or whether I really did screw it up....I will admit that me being goaless is stressful, and had a negative impact. How to decide what I am really after, and then try to get it? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFrom poster of question:
No! I meant that I wished she was "Stereotypically hotter" sometimes, horrible but true. Often i think it was because she was very shy and self conscience about her body. I always had to be the initiator, and she was comfortable only when she wanted it...if that makes sense.
I stayed cause I know, nobody is perfect...and I was absolutely in love with her as a person, and an individual....but I couldn't help her with her insecurities.
I just can't decide whether to let it lay.....she was someone i would spend a life with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): I don't think he ment he wished she was hotter just more of the 'dumb, but hot' girlfriend - meaning he thought she was hot but wanted her to be more like the dumb people.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfrom the original poster:
can't decide if I want to let go, just get closure and move on....or to try, and see if anything can be rectified. She was very close!
I often think that either would work for me...and if the issues are even surmountable.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): I don't think a male admitting to wishing that his GF was "hotter" is any worse than a GF admitting that she wishes her BF had more success/status in his career and/or social life.
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