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After two years, I still can't talk about things that bother me or else he explodes! I don't know that it's ever going to change.

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 September 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 24 September 2007)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been seeing this guy for a couple of years, we moved in together last year the only problem is, his temper. When we're working on our house, remodeling etc., he talks to me like I'm stupid and orders me around, yells and acts verbally abusive. He will later apologize but it's getting harder to get over his flare ups.

Also, he still has an ex that occasionally e-mails him but God forbid, I say the least little thing about it, he freaks out and starts screaming at me. I don't like her and I don't trust her motives. I think she likes interfere in his relationships because she's never gotten over him. For years after their break-up, he would go and visit her (she lives in another state) and they'd have sex when he/she visited each other. I think her meddling has also caused him to have problems in other relationships because he values her opinion too much, and doesn't seem to see that she has alot of power over his personal relationships. But when I try to sit him down and calmly talk to him in a rational, non-reactive way, he blows up. He thinks I'm overtly jealous, and I think he's creating an atmosphere where I will never have a voice in this relationship without fear of his wrath.

I love him to pieces though and most of the time we have a loving relationship. In fact, I rarely bring up this ex, until she I.M's him or sends him a text message and I'm sitting right there. I thought by now (2 years into the relationship) he'd begin to allow me to talk freely about things that bother me but he's so explosive, I don't know that it's ever going to change.

View related questions: jealous, moved in, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007):

Hi I feel you know the answer to this question yourself, trust you're instincts. A relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself is destructive and on a one way track. If you cannot approach him at all about the way you feel I would seriously look at your longterm goals. Build up you're confidence by working and increasing you're social activities.

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