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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi...I'm a 15 year old boy who has really strong feelings for a 48 year old woman, and I know that she feels the same, as we text and talk to each other every night.She's told me she loves me and I know that I love her. She's told me that if we want to get together, she's willing to wait for me until I'm 16 (I live in the UK).I am turning 16 next week. What do you think I should do?Sorry if it seems dumb but I cant talk to my mum or my friends; I am too embarrassed!Matt from the Wirral
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): A friend of mine said I would have an elderly girlfriend in the future - is this true?
Matt from the Wirral
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2005): Well I don't think your parents or school will agree with the age gap, and they will notice that this woman must have a problem for wanting to date a CHILD!
I really do think that social services will get involved, its not right, wouldn't you rather a young pretty girl with as much experience as you in life and so you can explore things together? Or would you prefer living with a lady who is going to treat you like a child but sleep with you at night?
Can you get a decent job to look after her and buy the shopping, pay the bills, pay rent/ mortgage etc?
No you'll be going to college and getting no money or get a crap job with minimum wage and she'll be like mummy providing for you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2005): What problems - social and medical - would we face if we were to get together?
Matt from the Wirral
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (26 October 2005):
 Well for starters you best "bone up" on the lastest menapause therapies. Learn the phrases "I'll get your cane" "Don't worry I know where you left your teeth" "Hey, I really like droopy boobs, really I do" and such....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Social services getting involved?? How??
Matt from the Wirral
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Problems that you will face..... your girlfriend being called a cradle snatcher, social services getting involved, have you thought that when you are able to go out drinking at 18 she'l be 50, or when your 21 able to go anywhere she'll be 54, old enough to be your grandmother!
What about kids? Well she aint having any at that age, and you do realize that she could be on her deathbed in 20 years time and you will be 36, you should be settled in a marriage with a few kids not saying good bye to an old lady.
You don't know anything about life you are not a responsible adult and nor is she by putting this pressure on you, have an older relationship but not with an old women!
And I don't mean any offence to the older generation but this going from one end of the scale to the other.....literally!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2005): People told me we will face a lot of problems? What exactly??
Matt from the Wirral
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2005): Please talk to your mum, about this. She has a love for you that you can sure of, unlike the love this women says she has for you. Listen to her advice as I am sure she only wants you to be happy. When I was 15, I was in love, but with another 15 year old, we leant about love together. I would feel at a massive disadvantage being with someone 33yrs my senior. I ask myself, why does a 48 yr old want to be with a child???? And I am afraid in the eyes of the law you are a child, even though at 16 you can have sex (Weird twist of law)
Also, I wonder, if you were so sure and confident about her, why are you posting on this site?? Please dont feel pressured into doing anything you are not ready to do. You WILL regret it. From your post, I can tell everything inside you is screaming, that this is not right, and I understand you may be flatter by her attention. Look around you, there are many beautiful girls, who you can spend your time/life with. I mean are you thinking forever with this woman, never having children, nursing her when she is a pensioner, facing a lifetime of defending your relationship to people who will ridicule you!
Please talk to your mum and think very careful, then delete this women's number!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): Hi Matt!
What are you thinking of?! When I was your age I had a serious infatuation with a friend of my mother's who was about 35 at the time, I was never actually stupid enough to try and do anything about it though and I have never had any regrets about that!!! You are very young and you should be enjoying life with your friends and girls your own age, are they really so bad you want to go out with someone old enough to be your mum?!
Age differences can work (my wife is 10 years younger than me and we are very happy together), but not at your age, sorry. You are still not an adult yet, however you feel inside, you WILL change a lot in the next few years and you really don't want to get into the kind of relationship you are talking about... physically or emotionally. In the long run I can only see one, or both, of you getting really badly hurt out of this.
What you need to think about is that she is 48 now, you are 16, in 12 years time she will be 60, a woman on the verge of old age, and you will still only be 28, a young man. From a very basic physical point of view she will be losing interest in sex and getting less and less physically active at a time when you will be entering your prime sexually, physically, mentally. You might love her, and she might love you, but it is not going to work out... I am very sorry.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): She wants to go clubbing with me soon but I worry about people's reactions.
Matt from the Wirral
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A
female
reader, lillaum  +, writes (23 October 2005):
 Hi There Matt
To tell you the truth I am usually all up for age gaps in a relationship, but this huge age gap with you being so young kinda worries me. I also live in the UK. I realise that she will wait til your legal but she has obviously been giving you some indication of how she feels now, and you are only 15. I know that you dont feel this way, but to me it seems like she may be taking advantage of you. I think you need to ask yourself a few questions. What do you both have in common? Where do you see the relationship going? (is it worth the heart ache?) How will your family and friends react? (if it is really love and you are mature enough to be in this relationship, you shouldn't keep it a secret) and can you really see yourself going over to her friends house for a dinner party?
To be honest with you if i could be 15 again I would wanna enjoy myself and let the oldies carry on being boring!!
Your young, you got pleanty of time to find true love, until then why not go out and have some fun?
Good Luck and take care of yourself Matt
Lillaum
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A
female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (23 October 2005):
This woman is probably older than your parents!!! You can't be in serious love. It would be best to tell her that the age gap is way too big. Find someone your own age to date please!
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