A
male
age
30-35,
*ale
writes:my girlfriend ov 3 months says she wants me 2 as she put it "have my way with her" but i am 16 and she is nearly 15 and it feels like i am taking advantage so i havent. i have low confidence and im scared she will leave me because of it. she says she won't i'm just caring for her and don't want to push her but i lack confidence in the little things such as giving her a kiss because i'm affraid she will turn away and make me look an idiot. plz help! what can i do to change because i hate myself at this moment in time i feel useless
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female
reader, LuckiStar15  +, writes (25 April 2007):
Like everyone else said, it's totally okay to feel nervous about this. But you need to talk to her even though that can be scary and nerve-wracking. The best person to help you understand what she meant by this is her. Her comment could mean anything from she has some sort of rape fantasy to that she wants you to take intiative when it comes to sex so that she feels wanted and desired.
A
male
reader, AdamPayseno +, writes (24 April 2007):
 First of all your not useless, your shy.
It's common for teenage girls to feel the way your girl does, in my experience it's a turn on for younger girls just getting into the sexual scene to have a guy who can just '' have his way with her '' so don't worry about that.
What you have to do is have a talk with her.. I know it feels like opening your legs and saying, Take your best kick - In the sence you feel vulnerable - But if she's worth it, she will respect your reserve, and wait for you to be ready for it. Don't be scared of her going out and finding the pleasure from another guy, because by the sounds of it.. You push the right buttons for her.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Sunset0000 +, writes (24 April 2007):
Hi,
Don't feel useless at all and don't hate yourself. This is only my opinion but I think that if you're not confident enough at the moment you shouldn't feel pressured into doing anything. Hey, I wasn't at all confident enough to have sex at your age and I'm still not now! Plus, your relationship is still quite new at the moment. I think you just need to give it time and when you feel inside yourself that you are comfortable enough to take that step that's when it's the right time. Don't feel you have to just because she wants you too, there are other ways of being close to someone without having to go straight for sex. If she cares about you and the relationship she will understand and should actually feel that you are showing her a lot of respect because a lot of guys would just want to jump into it I think. You should never change yourself for somebody else, just be true to yourself and how you feel about it, you sound like a very caring young man and really, don't feel bad about it!
Hope it all works out for you.
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