A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My mum is far too opinionated and it's getting very stressful to deal with. For example, my female friend has just ended a relationship with her boyfriend to go out with a girl. My mum thinks this is a phase and someone needs to sit her down and make her see everything she will be missing out on (husband, kids, white wedding etc). This causes clashes between us because I refuse to take her advice and continue to be supportive towards my friend. Another example is with my cousin who has been in a 10 year relationship with a man who is divorced with kids. He told her from the start he doesn't want any more children, and it was her choice to continue with that relationship but my mum can't accept this. She thinks he is being unfair and she is settling for second best because he wanted someone else's kids and not hers. She brings this up regularly. She is also like this with things like politics, parenting, promiscuity etc, where she has strong opinions which she will talk about regularly. If I try to discuss it with her or disagree with her opinions she gets upset saying she is entitled to her opinion. I agree but she doesn't seem to respect anyone elses! I don't like saying nothing though because people think I agree with her sometimes. Any advice?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Can't you just agree to disagree ?
You are 26 -29, by now your mind is made up, you have your opinions and core values, - same as your mom has hers. You don't need to fear that, being exposed to different opinions, your mind will be poisoned or your freedom restricted. You can nip arguments in the bud telling her " You know we see that differently ". Or, you can state again your opinion, " No, as a matter of fact I think instead X and Y "- but no need to be militant about it and to turn every conversation in a confrontation.
I guess my point is- learn not to take it personally, and not to expect that everybody around you will validate all your point of views and never challenge them. You KNOW what it's right or wrong for you, and the fact that other people see it differently won't change that , unless they offer really excellent arguments in favour of a re-thinking.
Yes, I understand that it may be annoying always hearing things that go against your way of thinking, but- what about TV news , or newspapers, or magazines or advertisement then ? You have no idea how many times a day I read or hear or watch things that are the expression of mainstream culture, or of the social and cultural politics of my country, and to me are an absolute crock of shit. I take what I need from the media ( the factual information about where, when, how much ) and discard what I am not interested, or in agreement , with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): Sageoldguy, thank you for taking time to reply but your answer doesn't really tackle the question I asked. For some background info though, I am still living at home so have to hear these opinions on a daily basis, and also come from a family where we meet socially a couple of times a week (as is our culture) so I am often in situations where we are with other people who can sometimes disagree or take offence and it can cause awkwardness. I was simply looking for advice on how to deal with this situation tactfully. If you don't think it is a problem then fine, but if that's the case there is no real need to reply.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 You're spending 'way too much time worrying about what your MOTHER thinks about "things".... Don't you have other "things" to worry about????
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (10 February 2013):
 She is right, everyone is intitiled to there own opinion, but then again you are also intitled to disagree. You must remember that you and your mother have been brought up in different times, different ways, and different generations. This all contributes to people having different opinions and your mothers opinion might be, how do i say, abit old fashioned. But then again, when you get alot older and have kids who soon then get to your age, they might start to feel that your opinions too, are old fashioned. However its just the way the world goes, and you can't take away your mothers opinion, as she cannot take away yours. If you feel sometimes she doesn't respect others opinions, such as when she is having a convorsation with someone and then goes to say about what she thinks and doesn't give them an opportunity the only thing you can really do is remind her that she may be coming across as rather rude, and hopes she remembers it in the future. Good Luck xx
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