A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am having issues with my younger sister at the moment. She has been going out with her new boyfriend for about a year (she left her boyfriend of 6 years for him), and since then she has completely changed. He is from quite a well off family (actually so are we now, but it wasn't always that way - my mum and dad worked very hard to get where they are), and she seems to think this makes her better than us or something. For example her taste in food has completely changed and she now complains about the food we eat when we go out somewhere. We are not adventurous enough apparently, and we 'wouldn't like' the restaurants she now goes to. This annoys me because 1. I have always enjoyed food and have been to these restaurants regularly and enjoy them, and 2. She has never asked, she's just assumed that we won't like it because 'it's not really our type of thing'.In addition to this, her political views have completely changed (from 'I can't be bothered to vote its boring' to staunchly conservative like him) and she disagrees with my political opinions saying I don't know what I'm talking about. Despite the fact I studied politics and know a lot about it. It's infuriating. She also seems to be embarassed of our home, as she calls before they visit to give us time to 'clean and prepare the house' for their arrival, and she is always asking if we have thought about decorating or investing in any art for the house (not my mum and dad's style at all). I just feel as though she wants to mould us into the family she wants us to be to keep up with his. I mean don't get me wrong they are nice people but no better than anyone else and it offends me that she thinks we should all change to suit them. She even got upset because my mum and dad wouldn't spend more on him (and us actually) at Christmas to match what his parents spent on her!This is causing a rift as I am getting more and more annoyed at her attitude, her desire to impress him and her making us feel she is embarassed of us. I am very proud of my family and how well my parents have done, and I am also proud of the person I am and don't feel I need to change my personality to suit anyone else, so I can't understand why she has done so and why she expects us to as well. She didn't do that for her last boyfriend.Has anyone else been through this, and if so how did you handle it?
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female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Ooo well if he likes you guys and you guys like him then just carry on like you normally would :D Eventually your sister will realise nothing is really gonna change and just ease up a bit. My sis came back from her travels and also started to criticise what and where we ate and generally how our household is run :P 1 year later and she's saying a lot less, probably cause decades of family habit trumped her 1 year of life experience outside the country.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): Thanks ihavetoomanythiughts. It's actually not him who has the problem strangely enough it's my sister. She has practically said she doesn't think we know how to behave socially, when in fact her boyfriend said he loves coming to our house because it's more relaxed and laid back than his house. For example, his family make him 'change for dinner' into something smart (even if it is just them). He hates that and doesn't see the need, but my sister now thinks we should be doing it to because it's the 'proper' thing to do. When we refuse she thinks we're being uncivilised!
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A
female
reader, CANDY61  +, writes (11 February 2013):
Your sister probably has met some guy that lives an extravagant lifestyle so now she's big headed. Every time she start talking like that, I wouldn't get angry I would just tell her I've got to go or I'd just politely leave the room.
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts +, writes (10 February 2013):
If this boyfriend is really gonna become a member of your family, then your sister has got to understand that he's gonna have to take you guys as you are! If he's not comfortable with that, then obviously he has no qualms about forcing a girl to leave her family i.e. he is a jerk. But anyway, just behave as you guys normally would and see how he reacts ;) If he reacts irrationally then she will see and hopefully leave him!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): Thank you female anonymous :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): Good on you girl, and don't let sister change how you feel. I would try for the sake of sisterhood (I'm raising two daughters and a son) to try and get some level footing. I'd say to her it's lovely she met someone and she falling in love, (and it is true some people do change for the sake of their relationship) but explain that mum and dad are not going to jump on the posh ship just because she met someone who lives their life differently from theirs. You are all happy and content. She should be proud to have the parents she has. And she shouldn't be making demands. Then leave it at that .Ignore her when she starts, change the subject, say I love you but you're being a bit bossy again, keep it light. Remember she too can have an opinion even if it is geared by her bf lol be nice to each year, don't let her get on your nerves. Just come rant on here if you need an escape lol keep sweet, you sound like an endearing daughter one that I would be pleased to even call my own (here's hoping mine grow up just as nice)Take care honey, don't be too hard on her just let it go in one ear and out the other once you have a sisterly chat, not a row mind, be nice be sweet....
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