A
male
age
41-50,
*ucks
writes:Ive met a 35yr old women on a dating site on the internet. i have seen her 4 times and on the 3rd date we were kissing and holding hands the next day we had sex. i thought everything was great between us until she emailed me 3 days later saying she only wants to be good friends as it wont last long in the long run in a relationship as she feels there is no spark. she wants to see my band play this sat nite as friends. i have spoken to her on there since and she said we will see what happens on sat. she must of fancied me as we were kissing one nite and then sex the other nite. please help me, im so confused
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kissing, spark, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 March 2007):
 The fact that she met with you 4 times is a clear indication that she did/does fancy you. Once sex comes into the equation it brings about a different set of emotions and I think she is just a bit overwhelmed by it all. Too much too soon is what I feel has happened here. She still wants to go and see you play on Saturday though so that's a positive sign and she still wants to remain friends. What she's saying there is "slow down a bit", so respect her wanting friendship for now and take it one day at a time.
Let her know that you both moved a bit fast and you're willing to go at her pace if that's what she wants but you like her and would love to continue seeing her and finding out more about her and getting to know one another better. At least this way she'll see there's no pressure on her.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007): I can't beleive she would have kissed you if she didn't like you. For a woman (generally speaking) it takes longer to really be sure if there is a connection though. Maybe if the two of you hadn't rushed into bed and just dated for a while, time would have elapsed for her to decide whether or not there was a spark. Sounds like you were there at a time of need (hers), and she just took advantage of a situation.
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A
male
reader, hucks +, writes (16 March 2007):
hucks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think she fancied because we were kissing and holding hands and then had sex?
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A
male
reader, srinii  +, writes (16 March 2007):
first of all having sex in short date ends up lots of confusion and really u dont take her words as positive u say that yes i too feel the same and after that u see she is back of u
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 March 2007):
She may feel she gave herself too easily to you and is regretting that now and feels guilty. Take things easy with her, be friendly and don't come on too heavy. Once she sees you play you might just woo her again! Let her see you respect her wishes if she just wants to remain friends and play a blinder on Saturday night!
Eve
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A
female
reader, Darlene  +, writes (16 March 2007):
 maybe she just got cold feet.age makes a difference to some people.if there is an age difference.sex isn't the same for everyone.some just do it with no feelings involved.that's why there are rape victims.they have
no feelings or care about what it means to the other
person.sounds like you fancied her but she was only
in it for a one night stand.just move on you deserve better.lol
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