A
male
age
41-50,
*ickcarter
writes:Ok, i have been dating a lovely girl for a few weeks. We met through a friend and hit it off right away. She's 21 and i am 29. We have been on loads of dates and the other night, we were talking about birthday plans and she said to me " oh, your 24, aren't you? " - i was stunned and was off guard so i said yes.My friend who introduced us thought i was 24 ( we didn't go to school together or anything so i think he presumed) - it is very easily done as i look VERY young, and look after myself and i get mistaken for like 19 all the time.So after this, i wanted to tell her the truth but she told me that there is no way she would date a guy over the age of 25, so she said " in in the acceptance zone" Now we have had such a good time together and she tells me im like a prince that girls dream of and the perfect guy as i treat her so well but i'm so stuck now. She tells me she has never met anyone like me, and i know if i tell her it will mess everything up. We are going on holiday soon as i knew she wanted to see my passport picture ( i had seen hers and she wanted to see if i looked cute) and i came home last night and there was a copy of my passport on my table and i didn't know how it got there. But it turns out my housemate had made a copy and changed my year of birth by 5 years ( he's a techno wizard) so it does seem like im 24. She picked it up and said it was a nice picture... I asked him about it and he said its all good now as the curiosity is gone and she won't need to see my real passport now. I told him he should not have done that, he thought he was doing me a favour. Obviously we are both young and it's not like we will marry one day and all this comes out but what can i do? It's all a mess. :(
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 May 2012):
 I can see her dumping you for the lie that was compounded by your trying to be helpful roommate who totally blew it.
You need to take her out and spoil her and tell her you have told a fib... and then clear it up. DO IT ASAP.
It will sadly erode her trust... but then you lied.
granted it's not a biggie and you had a huge reason for doing it.
if her age limit issue comes into play, 8 years is nothing.
I'm 13 years older than my fiance... and he loves that.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (10 May 2012):
 You have to tell her, as soon as you can. The longer this goes on the worse it will get.
Your friend really has dropped you in it - it now looks like the pair of you are trying to pull the wool over your girlfriend's eyes and she will think both of you are scheming to keep this 'lie' under wraps.
But it will only get worse if you dont tell her, you have to tell her so just get on with it as soon as you can. She's not going to react well, especially after the fake passport incident but you have to be brave and tell her. You never know, she might forgive you!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (10 May 2012):
This isn't too much of a mess at all. Tell her as soon as possible that you are 29, and explain it all to her. The age gap is fine, and the reason she is happy with you is down in part to your maturity.
I really don't see her dumping you over 4 yrs. But I do see her being unhappy if she is misled for any longer.
Tell her today, and I think all will be well.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 May 2012):
 Um, not to put too fine a point on it, but you are 29. Not 19. Time to act like a grown up and deal with it. It's a pity your friend faked a passport as that really sounds like she's been setup by you and your friend, but it's time to come clean.
Tell her the truth now, this is only going to get worse. The truth will come out eventually and the longer you let her believe a lie, the worse the outcome. At least right now, you can explain how your friend was trying to help you. Later on, you'll just be the old guy who lied like a rug.
You've only been dating a few weeks. You're going on holiday together to a place that needs a passport? Time to man up. Be brave. Pull on the manly pants and tell her.
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