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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am tall for a woman, just about 6'-0." While I physically prefer taller men, I can't really afford to be picky and so have dated shorter men.Sometimes though, they seem embarassed about the height difference, too embarassed to take me seriously. From many of the posts from men here on DC, I would assume that being big in height and other proportions is a common insecurity for men. I suspect that's why petite women are attractive partners to the average man. (No disrespect to petite women.)I'm not fat. I do have an athletic frame from sports and I work out regularly. I can honestly I like my figure, but sometimes I think many men (particularly the shorter ones) consider me unapproachable or not an option. One of the shorter ones that I liked both in and out of bed eventually turned was a huge disappointment. I sense he was reluctant to meet me in front of his friends, when we did meet with them, he seemed nervous. During sex, if I suggest a certain positions, like spooning sex, he would say, "You are too tall for that."On the opposite end of the spectrum, I have met men who were much shorter than me who would try to get me to wear high heels (very uncomfortable) and parade me around like a circus freak on the second date.An office mate I liked a lot one time told me, "You know, you are probably too much women for most men to handle." I tried to take it as a compliment, but it still unhinges me 6 years after he said it. Even he was a bit taller than me! Sometimes I feel I need to present myself as quieter, less opinionated, and even shy to make men feel at ease around me.How do men honestly feel about dating taller women?Experiences? General feelings? Don't be shy.
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male
reader, sethroamer  +, writes (19 November 2014):
Personally my best relationships in life had been with two women who were taller than me, I am neither short nor extremely tall, standing at a shade over 5'10", both these women were great friends, lovers and even after falling off, we still remain in touch.I am not generalizing for others, but I love taller women even today, they are not that uncomfortable with men shorter than them, its the other way around, I on the other hand always loved the company of my ex's, be at a park a shopping mall or a movie theatre, my experience was taller women are far more loving, even like to swoon on their boyfriends in the company of their friends.I also have to say sex with a tall women is amazing, an experience I guess I would say is out of this world, though my girl friends just had a shade of insecurity as if they had satisfied me or not, but that's just about it, one of me ex was considerably taller than me, and at the beginning of our relationship she was absolutely ravenous before switching back to what I would call norm, we did discuss and poke each other about previous relationships, and I did put up the question, as to why she seemed so ravenous at the beginning, the answer was although her ex was taller than her he neither had the appetite nor was big enough for her, she said I was more endowed than him by at least 2 inches, which was quite a shock to me, cuz her ex stood at 6'5 tall compared to my 5'10 n a bit, point is its not a question of male being endowed or not, for me the respect and love was mutual, still is, and that's what most women want I guess, to be loved genuinely and respected genuinely.To you the writer, I don't care how tall you are, it is how tall as a person you are on the inside, and for what its worth, you are tall, there are many guys like us who love women like you, even if you are significantly taller than us, chow now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): Honey, I'm a fit 190 lbs on a 5'6 frame and I'm very attracted to tall women with long legs. It's a big time turn on for me and I'm totally open to dating a woman who's 6 foot or more. You are so much more woman in the very best way and I find that incredibly amazing! It's never a bad thing. The office fool who's polarized you with that silly comment about being "too much woman" deserves a good kick in the rear! He's not man enough for you, period! Don't let that stuff sit on your brain for another six years because you just might overlook a short guy who's aiming to talk to you. Height never matters to me but dating a shorter guy is a big time no-no for a lot of tall ladies. I'm not a midget body builder but most of the time I believe my shortness, thickness and muscles are a deterrent to tall women. None of them are turned on by me and it does kinda suck. At the same time I still can't deny what turns me on in a woman and that is tall. Plain and simple. The lucky short guys I've seen arm in arm with taller women usually weigh 100 lbs less than her and are even shorter than me. It isn't fair I say, it just isn't fair! These are likely the dominatrix types who get off on role playing as the mother or protector in the relationship. I don't need a woman to protect me and I can protect any woman. Maybe that disuades taller ladies from being interested in me. One thing is for certain, society wrongfully defeminizes women who are seen towering over men and that's what I'm always trying to change. You as a tall woman can easily change that notion with confidence and an open heart to men of all heights, especially the shorter guys.Stand proud! You are beautiful and elegant. You deserve to be treated with respect. Just remember to respect the short guys of the world and not judge us because we don't have the height that you've been blessed with.
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male
reader, foolishsage  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 I'm glad that I could be of any help. You're quite welcome.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all advice and perspectives.
Lately I've just felt that I'm either someone's token "tall girl" experience or my height literally gets in the way.
I probably have issues about it that I don't admit quite fully since I can't really match the classic romantic norm.
Thanks Foolishsage for the helpful and encouraging perspective.
Thank you Cerberus for your enthusiasm and the restraint :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): I am 5'9" and my girl is 5'9 and a half. That is not much of a difference, and I like her being tall. I do admit I feel a bit like a little boy if she's wearing heels, and standing on my toes to kiss her when she's wearing them is a bit emasculating. But I know she doesn't have a problem with it. She has dated shorter guys than me, and taller than her. I think it's sexy, and I do think she looks like a runway model when she's dressed to the nines. On the sex side, I will say it has been a little different than most of the other, shorter women I've been with. Long legs apparently dont make for as flexible of a mid-section, at least not with her, despite her athleticism, and quite frankly, she cant bend into some positions or do cowgirl quite as well. She definitely cant squat, and doggy gets her tired. Doggy is different because I'm used to spreading my legs and now, she has to. Smaller girls are for me, quite frankly, easier to have sex with aside from the fact that many of them are also smaller "down there". I heard rumors that tall women were "deeper" and required a well hung man. Well, I'm not big, but even I am a bit much for her at times, so that rumor is a myth.
I think that coworker was merely making a compliment. Many guys are indeed intimidated by size.
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female
reader, LustyLisa +, writes (20 January 2011):
Generally speaking I think most males/females prefer that the woman be shorter but that doesn't mean every couple feels that way or that there arn't any exceptions. I've always been on the tall side and was attracted to older, taller, and bigger men. I even told my Mom growing up that I could never be attracted or happy with a man that was shorter than me, thinner than me or younger than me and I believed that at the time I sincerely ment it. Then I met my husband of over 20 yrs now. He's shorter than me, weighs less than me and he's younger than me. Go figure, he's all three!!!. It's amazing what true and sincere feelings for another human being can create: a sence of unconditional love that transcends what's physical. At the end of the day, mine and his physical differances don't undermine what we feel for each other in our hearts and minds.
Have you considered that maybe you are making more of this than the guys you've known? Are you sending vibes that you are not comfortable with the height differance or that you prefer taller men yourself? My husband is short by todays standards but he dated women of all sizes, shapes and races because he likes the female form in all of it's variations. There are guys who would care less about your height as long as you show that you are comfortable and can relax and enjoy each other's company and attentions.
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male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (20 January 2011):
4 out of my 6 Ex girlfriends were taller than me, it didnt bother me, we had good relationships, but the only thing i didnt like was them wearing heels on top of that.
So basically, i dont mind a taller woman, am 5'6, so i dont mind up to 5'9, really.
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (20 January 2011):
I'm 5' 7" and my ex wife is 5' 10". Height was never an issue between us, and I really enjoyed the fact that I was with a woman who had the build of a professional model.
Even now I prefer women who are 5' 5" or taller. I routinely chat up women who are 6' and I've even dated a couple of them.
I guess if a guy is secure with himself and confident, then it won't bother him at all if he's shorter than his date!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): I know my last post was long but I just want to add. You have to accept that physically there are certain limitations to dating a shorter guy. Sexual positions can be limited, kissing standing up can be uncomfortable there are other little things that are limited too. But that can be said of any relationship in which two people are different sizes, some guys are limited in their sexual positions by the shape of their penis, or by their excess weight. So don't let those things bother you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): "How do men honestly feel about dating taller women?"
One of my exes was 6"2' and I'm only 5"8', honestly I loved it. Personally for me the only issue was kissing standing up, she always had to crouch down a bit which was uncomfortable for her so we couldn't do it for long without being creative. Everything else was brilliant, not to get into too much detail here but sexually taller women have a different dimension to them, the length of my ex's legs was amazing. When I saw her naked on my bed I looked at her in awe, she too was athletic and she a really long slender body that I just wanted to explore all the time. I couldn't keep my hands off her. That's enough of that because I said I wouldn't go into too much detail and honestly I could write a thesis on how her being tall made being intimate with her amazing.
Tall women are great and there are plenty of guys that love tall women just like me. But the problem as you stated is that for some stupid reason it's not a social norm. People think the man should be the bigger, taller partner and when that's not the case then they stare or make comments. The thing is though, even you think that. "While I physically prefer taller men" That attitude is what makes guys who would gladly date you and not care about what people think feel insecure because we know you're only settling for a shorter guy because your options are limited.
That kind of makes it harder to approach tall women, because honestly do you know that many women that have a preference for shorter guys? I don't mean will date shorter guys I mean prefer to date them. No, there aren't many are there? We guys know that so we're less likely to approach a woman that is taller than us. You see we guys make the moves in general and when we're weighing up our chances we know that women that are taller than us by a few inches are far more likely to reject us. Not only that but when we are with them we know we're only a person they're settling for, that they'd prefer someone taller.
That spooning sex thing is true actually, sexually there kind of are limitations in certain positions. I mean the whole idea of spooning is that it is an intimate act, our heads kind of need to be at the same height, or the guy a bit above and close so we can kiss your neck or nibble on your ear, hear your breath, stroke your hair and face etc. When I tried it with my ex I was so low down that all I could see where her shoulder blades that kind of depersonalized the whole experience. It didn't mean I wouldn't do it but it just wasn't the same. The big spoon is the one that is supposed to be behind, cupping the little spoon in that position.
You assume wrong about this "I would assume that being big in height and other proportions is a common insecurity for men" we don't actually mind that at all and a lot of us actually love it.
It all comes back to the social norms thing, traditionally the guy is supposed to be dominant, taller, stronger etc. people do look, people do make comments and that can make some guys insecure. Men traditionally want to fit that role too just like most women want a guy who is bigger than them so they can feel protected and secure. You yourself have that exact same desire.
Now beyond all that there are plenty of guys that don't have any of those issues, that really don't care about it. Just like me they'll appreciate who you are and even love the fact that you're taller. There really are lots.
You just have to keep going, keep dating and be proud of your height. Don't act more shy or any of that stuff to make men feel at ease. You want a guy who feels at ease with who you are, not who you present to them.
You just have to think of things the way I do. I'm short in height so I have the same problem only in reverse. I too thought my options were limited by my height but they were only limited as regards people that weren't worth dating anyway. If any girl gave so much of a crap that I was short that she wouldn't consider dating me then it's her that lost out on a good man based solely on a physical attribute. That's her problem then not mine.
Don't be afraid to make the initial contact with guys, if you want to put guys at ease then you make the initial approach. If you see interest from a guy and he hasn't approached you, then take the initiative yourself. I know that's normally not how it's done, but your height means guys aren't going to expect you to be a timid little flower anyway, so you might aswell assert a bit of dominance over the proceedings.
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male
reader, foolishsage +, writes (20 January 2011):
Hmmm - I think a lot of guys are probably less opposed to it than one may assume and it may be more of a case where they are guessing that a tall woman wants to be with a guy that is her height or taller and those guys may therefore not approach her.
Probably 3/4 of the women that I've dated have been taller than me, of course I'm only 5'5 1/2" (damn it, that half inch counts), so there are a lot of women that are taller than me.
Of course the amount of height difference can be a little bit different story - the tallest girl that I've dated so far was 5'10". While we were both fine with it, we did get some looks from people and a lot of people don't like to feel like they're being gawked at.
Eh, that's my own personal feelings/ history on it - but keep in mind, it's the ramblings of a short dude w/ a Napoleon complex. ; )
Aside from that - please be yourself - really, have an opinion & don't try to be somebody that you're not - don't cave on that. You sound like a very bright and fun person - if a guy can't handle that, well - that's his problem.
And what your office-mate said was hopefully meant as a compliment and just a poor choice in words and it's replayed over in your mind just for the fact that it is just a bit off and because you already have the concern about your height. Try to let it go - he likely chose the wrong words.
Hope that helps any. And if not, at least you've given me reason to reminisce on more than one great girl with legs that went on seemingly forever...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): Not being a guy, I can't give you a personal guy's perspective, but I can tell you how my boyfriend and my cousin's husband feel about it. I'm about 5'9", and my boyfriend is at best 5'10" - I am not a runway model 5'9", I am a normal person 5'9". When I first started dating my boyfriend I was nervous to wear heels around him, but he actually says he loves it. He was a late bloomer (he didn't reach his current height till he was 20 or 21) so he likes to say, "I got used to looking up at gorgeous women." The other day, I had heels on and he was being all flirty and looking at them, and I asked him again, "Really?! It doesn't bother you at all?" And he was like "No way. I just figure, I'm with this tall beautiful woman who should probably be dating some tall rich guy, but nope, she's with ME, suckers!"
My cousin is a bit taller than me, and her husband a bit shorter than my boyfriend, and every time she puts on heels he whistles and flirts and says "Baby, where you been on my life?"
I've come to the realization that men like heels. Regardless of how tall a woman is, they just like the way we look and walk in them! So maybe rethink the guys before - obviously only you can know if it really was a 'circus freak' sort of thing, but maybe they just liked seeing your sexy legs!
I realize my situation is different from yours, but I just thought I'd let you in on a few male opinions I've found about their women being taller than them.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): stop messing with the wimps/boys-trapped-in-mans-body woman! i'm 24 but when i was 20 i dated a someone for two years who was 6'1 and im only 5'11. didnt bother me one bit and was never an issue. now im dating someone exactly my height and on our first night out she purposefully wore high heels to be taller than me. she figured it would scare me off or intimidate me. well it didn't work and we are still together. avoid anyone in the male species with such an insecurity and find a man who is fine with who he is to fall hard and fast for.
-D
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