A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there.I just have a quick question about porn watching please...It seems to me, that porn is what men want, but us (real women-their wives with stretchmarks from their children) is what they have to settle for...Is that true?Thanks for your answers.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): I think it's appalling that people seem to have this idea in their heads that men just look at it because it's easy, it's there, it's a fantasy - they would never want to marry a woman like that.
Well they are still women. It's not like they're not real (althought some parts of them may not be). While the respectfulness of their chosen (or not) work field is questioned by many, they are still people, and that in itself should demand respect from the people who use their work for their own pleasure.
A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 Just to add my comment to many readers/advisors, men seem to like porn so much that it may drive their women crazy, but at the end of the day no man wants to get married to a pornstar! If only all women realized this, porn would even die out. Its a simple fact that men love sex and can have it all day if women let them. But they also would like real recorgniseable women. He simply looks at the electronic naked ones just the way he thinks about the act but not the way he wants it to be. Thoughts do differ from desires. Women should be certain no man can leave his wife for a pornstar. If you know of anyone who did, be sure he's only a being with an erect penis but not a man.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): hi im always surprised at women who are worried about their men watching porn, for him its a quick way to release the pent up energy to watch something that turns them on, not always something that they would want to do in real life, or ever want you to do..i always say to people why dont you watch it together now and again and take some tips off them, for ways to spice things up a bit, but most of all dont be intimidated by them, everyone has fantasies and thats all porn is..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): It's ok. We settle too. We settle for guys who watch porn and who aren't as romantic as Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic. But hey, it's ok! Do you honestly wish your guy was as romantic as some romantic comedy hunk? I sure don't... sure I might find myself going all "awww....!" with a tear in my eye when the girl gets the guy and they live happily ever after... but it'd be so... annoying after some weeks. In romantic movies they never seem to joke about stupid stuff, they never seem to engage in interesting, meaningful conversations, they never seem to I don't know, play some videogames, drink beer together, tickle each other and laugh until their tummy hurts! It's all about flowers, and stars, and being formal, etc. I don't know, but I wouldn't want a guy who was romantic 24/7. Just romantic for special ocassions.But that's me. I imagine it's the same with guys. As much as they love porn, sex and sexy bodies, I doubt they'd want a girl who was talking dirty all day long. Horny as they may be, men also want companionship. Or maybe I'm doing it wrong? But sometimes when I've accused my boyfriend of always thinking about sex, he gets offended. He says he's more than just a horny guy. That he has feelings. That he likes cuddling. Maybe if I looked like a pornstar he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me? Probably, who knows. But then how would I feel, like a sex machine? Not like a person, that's for sure.And who knows, they always want what they can't have. I bet if all women looked the same (like porn stars), men would get bored of it and start fantasizing about women with stretch marks. I'm almost sure they would. After all they seek variety in porn. Most women don't look like porn stars, so yes, they like them because they're different. But it's ok. It can suck sometimes, thinking they settle for us, but they're hardwired to like kinky, fake-breasted, unnatural looking women. It's ok.End of rant.
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (12 July 2009):
 In my opinion...
With regards to the women in porn, they are purely an object of raw, physical desire, nothing more. In most cases, the ONLY thing we might want to do with these women is have sex with them. That's all. We wouldn't want them as wives because THAT'S not what we really want.
But I can only speak for myself. So as for me - fake boobs are nice to look at. They have wonderful qualities about them that are attractive and arousing. But that's where it stops. I wish (when the time comes) to have my wife breast feed my children, and I wish for her to actually be able to do so! Artificial breasts can hinder milk production and cause the mother to be unable to effectively feed her newborn.
Completely bald pubic areas are not my thing. I know now that looks of women are taking on the bald look for personal aesthetic reasons, but I like hair! I like to see my woman is a grown woman. Don't get me wrong, bald is okay but hairy is better (for me).
I absolutely would never care to see my wife giving some other guys head or having multiple guys penetrate her at the same time - or have many guys go one by one and have sex with her. BUT, I will watch some porn chick do it.
I think most men like REAL women - who look and feel real. True, there are guys that want fake boobs and stuff like that. But lots of men don't.
Just my opinion.
Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): I don't know why women have to change their mentality once they have children. Stretch marks? get it treated, not good enough for sex? get your freak on and watch some porn too. I love porn and I definitely like to get ideas from those flicks, especially when I feel in control in bed. I love to surprise my man and get pleased. It's all about not changing the way you feel or think after having a child. Does that mean that after giving birth and my divorce that I should walk around with cold cream on my face, wear plastic hair rollers with a hair net all the time and die in the kitchen with a pot in my hand? HELL NO!!! I am thirty years old and I will never feel old even when I reach my sixties. It's not about what men want or wish we could be, IT IS WHAT WE WANT TO BE and many women just restrict themselves once they get married and have children. Well, that's my way of thinking. My male family members just see me as a feminist but it is already time that women learn how to self identify themselves, practice self expression, and explore whatever can be satisfying.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): It's not so much wanting those women, but to fantasize about the type of sex that they are having. I don't think that most men who watch porn would actually want to be married to the women in porn. I watch porn because of the fantasy of the types of sex that they are having. My wife and I are pretty adventurous in our sex, but we aren't about to participate in 3somes (MMF or MFF) or gangbangs or her giving a dozen guys a blowjob. However, we both watch that type of porn as a fantasy.
A lot, perhaps most, of the woman in porn are not all that attractive. Sure, some of the top stars are beautiful, but most men watch the more kinky porn and those women and men are not that good looking. They sometimes do almost everything imaginable in sex and that is the turn-on.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 July 2009):
 No, that is not true, at least not of all of us. Sometimes we love you, stretch marks, nagging about them and all...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): Porn is fantasy.Wives are the people the men love and want to be with.The porn women are yes a physical desire for them to be with for about ten minutes to release that desire and then leave. With Wives he will do that but want to cuddle up after and kiss you on the forehead.I dont think that this is true. The reason that the wives have stretchmarks, i think is beautiful as it is a symbol of what you and your man made together.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (12 July 2009):
porn is something all men watch it is a fact of life just as much as all of us women gossip lol.
so what if a man watches porn, it is a little fantasy or a little turn on, i know full well my boyfriend watches porn but i have no reason to ask him to stop. I have watched it with him occassionaly because i actually find it a huge turn on myself lol.
it is a fantasy world for men and so long as it doesn't affect your sex life and replace your time together then there isn't a problem.
if he can only respond to porn and doesn't give you the attention you need in the bedroom thats when you need to have words.
porn is fine, its goes beyond fine when they talk dirty to real woman in chat rooms etc. dvd's and downloads shouldn't be a problem in any relationship.
besides, have you never looked at someone like Brad Pitt and that phwarr! but you have settled for your husband because you love him.
Hope this helps.
x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): So not true. We fantasize about porn models but we aren't dumb enough to accept them in real life. Reel life and real life are totally different. Wouldn't you be happier if your man was watching porn rather than having an affair?
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