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female
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*nastasia
writes: Why is it alot of men show lots of intrest then all of a sudden seem to vanish of the planet?I have experienced this a few times. I have been dating someone for a few weeks and for the first few he was sending lots of lovey dovey and very flirty texts. The confusing thing he's now said to me he doesnt want me to get attached to him and wants to take it slow. over the last 9 days he's become really infrequent with his messages, he puts see you soon and kisses but doest make a date! His workmakes have been saying some unsavoury things about me, which are not true. Perhaps he's belived them? hes been hurt by women theyve not liked before and it seems unfair. But why are so many men full on then suddenly finish it? It seems strange. I am starting to think its me!!! :-(
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female
reader, Ainley +, writes (14 May 2006):
 things have probably just been moving too fast for him to handle. i know men!! they can't make there minds up to safe themselves, but seriously let him have his time, let him be the one who contacts you firstly that way you know that your not pestering him and dont even mention meeting up, pretend your busy, just let him be if he comes back wha hay for you but otherwise go out and try an have fun.
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (14 May 2006):
 No its not you,what it is....there's a few men out there (not all) who are in love with the idea of being in love.Then once that heady stage of lust evaporates,then reality kicks in and lover boy is off.Fella's like that,dont have the maturity to having a proper relationship.Your probably meeting the wrong blokes,but dont despair...there is other men out there who are not so fickle and will stay the whole run...you just have to kiss a few frogs to finding the right prince.
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A
male
reader, yoyouyont +, writes (14 May 2006):
maybe he has realised that he seems like the male version of a bunny boiler, a needy clingy man and has been asking co-workers who have probably told him that women prefer the thrill of the chase not desperation-in other words treat em mean to keep em keen. It is true that people show greater interst when you are not in their face. It could be you in that you are expecting behaviour to fall into a set of simple patterns that everyone subscribes to. "men" are just as individual as women so just relax and give things some time and dont create a self-fulfilling insecurity, i mean prophecy. Make the best of opportunities and see how it goes, you dont have to live in each others pockets to have a relationship. Also dont generalise across situations as if you cannot read others dont try to figure out their head as you may get it wrong. Good luck-relax!
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