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male
,
anonymous
writes: I am 22 and I have a crush on a girl from work. She's 17, and she only works 3 hours per week. Her friend/our colleague told her I like her, and although she isnt't exactly taken, she told her she doesn't know me well enough to go on a date. The thing is, how am I ever going to get to know her otherwise? Recently I started flirting in front of her with a friend to try and make her jealous...but then she didn't even say goodbye to me at the end of the shift, and it certainly didn't make me feel any better about things. What can I do?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 May 2006):
 Mind games to 'Make Someone Jealous' are _always_ a bad idea. Try to scrub them out of your repertoire completely. Think about it: you flirted with someone else so she'd... what? Fling herself at you and beg to go out with you?
Have you ever heard -- anywhere? -- of that happening? No; you haven't, have you?
So start over. Try being honest with her, if you really care about her. You have a perfect opportunity now to show her that you're a good guy (assuming you are one). Next time she's at work, go up to her and quietly explain and/or apologise for your recent bad judgement.
YOU: "Hi Jess. You know, the other day when you were here I did something really stupid, and I think I might have hurt your feelings..."
You can fill in the rest. You might even smile and apologise, explaining that you did it because you wanted to get her attention, and you accidentally went overboard. Make sure that she knows you really regret being an idiot (you were).
Then you can ask to make it up to her. See if she'd join you for a coffee after work. Make it something quick and lightweight, because at 17, she's not going to have all that much experience with guys in their 20s and chances are, she finds you a little bit intimidating.
I'd put off anything deeper or more meaningful than a coffee or a shared lunch hour for now, at least until she realises that you're not the sort of guy who'd normally resort to mind games to get her interest!
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Ainley +, writes (14 May 2006):
 well if she normally says bye then you succeeded in making her jealous but personally no brownies for you mister! if you want to just sleep with her forget because it'll end in tears, but if you really do like her then just give her your mobile number and let her take it from there, just bare it in mind that shes 17 and there for when she does text or ring her friends will probably be there, so watch your language!
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