A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:It seems that many men these days are afraid of meeting or getting into a relationship because women expect too much from them. When they hear the words I love you alarm bells start ringing! Oh! here we go she wants something! What are your thoughts about the 'love act', 'pussy trap' phenomenon??
View related questions:
I love you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everybody!good stuff!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 March 2009):
 From your update and your message, poster, I see that you meant something very different than what your words suggested. What you mean is that men are afraid that the woman just wants the financial support, and that is why they resort to "traps", and, on the other hand, that the woman feels she is sought just for sex, which is why men resort to "traps". Please correct me if my understanding of this was wrong.
Unfortunately, yes, some relationships exist on the basis of gain, financial, sexual, or otherwise. I can't tell who, men or women, gets into a relationship more often for reasons that don't have to do with love.
We all have that fear and we have to learn to live with it. And I'm sure many people are trapped in relationships that are only games of interests. Some people know that, and some others don't.
Perhaps the way to avoid this is, in the immortal words of a taxi driver, "to love blindly but to keep an eye open".
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionApologies. I have noted the comment about 'meeting' and will say that it should have read:meeting and getting in to a relationship.Also, as the wordings says 'many me'n that is clearly not all just many ( a fair amount to be a concern ).Too much, means a lot of men seem to think all women want is money. although this is obviously not the whole truth it is a truth and a concern.Ie, I have heard on many occasion of a relationship breaking up after the words 'I love you' are said from the woman. It is apparent that some men then think that the woman is asking fore more in the way of financial commitment or assistance or just material things.Then the guy breaks the relationship off in that fear and the woman is left feeling he just wanted her for sex. Really, all the guy wanted was a fair loving relationship without the pressure of money. Women these days work and have there own money.I know it is fair and usual to help each other in a loving relationship but after just a few months in the alarm bells sound.so, the question then is it a 'love act' or really love. After a few months its probably infatuation and that is why there then is lack of trust and commitment.Therefore, this also goes hand in hand with the 'pussy trap' element.This is a phenomenon in our society with specific concerns. There is absolutely nothing false about this 'it happens' and is questioning what is false.yes it is a complicated vast subject but opinions may go a long way and the more the better.
...............................
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (11 March 2009):
 Hi Hunny
I read you question with a smile on my face, You for one cannot put all women in to one category..I love you to me does not mean, I'm going to get pregnant to keep you trap you and take all your money...
Yes some women may want to say I love you first but Im sure the male has said it many times for the first time..To be honest the way you write your question it is as if you have made your mind up about women in general as money grabbing baby makers..I've worked to bring up my children, I left my home for my children, I did not want money I wanted a safe environment for my children that was the first and most important priority for me at that time not the house..
I can maybe come across as quite awkward to some men as if they offer to buy a gift I don't really care for it as it puts me sometimes I feel in a uncomfortable situation..If someone wants to buy a gift, Why not just do it and not make a big deal about it..I could say that to some of the men I have dated as to me it is as if they are trying to impress me with money and to me that is a turn off...If I have been in a relationship for awhile then I feel comfortable accepting small gifts as I'm not bothered if its from pound world. And by then my partner would know this, I have of course told my previous partners that I love them as it was the truth and in no way meant to scare the shit out of them..But the last two relationships I've had I was told by them first.And you are quite right it can scare the shit out of you...Its not only a male who may feel this way, Women feel it to...
To me what would be the point in trying to trap a man with pregnancy. Even when younger this would never enter my head, Its impossible to trap someone they are always free to walk away..My first husband asked me to get an abortion when I fell pregnant with my first child..I told him he had the choice to go as it had not been planed I could understand his panic, But I would have been quite happy to bring my son up on my own we both had choice, I had made mine and the strangest thing he even said he would marry me if I had the abortion..Id never mentioned marriage, Why did he presume I wanted it?
I was dating someone recently and he said, I could fall in love with you! On our second date, I'm not dating anymore...
Love to me is a comfortable feeling, a warm feeling and you can have that in a cold room. All us women do not go out of our way to want designer items, A baby, A man to do everything, to bleed the one we do say we love dry...Thats not love...TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXX
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionApologies. I have noted the comment about 'meeting' and will say that it should have read:meeting and getting in to a relationship.Also, as the wordings says 'many me'n that is clearly not all just many ( a fair amount to be a concern ).Too much, means a lot of men seem to think all women want is money. although this is obviously not the whole truth it is a truth and a concern. Ie, I have heard on many occasion of a relationship breaking up after the words 'I love you' are said from the woman. It is apparent that some men then think that the woman is asking fore more in the way of financial commitment or assistance or just material things.Then the guy breaks the relationship off in that fear and the woman is left feeling he just wanted her for sex. Really, all the guy wanted was a fair loving relationship without the pressure of money. Women these days work and have there own money. I know it is fair and usual to help each other in a loving relationship but after just a few months in the alarm bells sound.so, the question then is it a 'love act' or really love. After a few months its probably infatuation and that is why there then is lack of trust and commitment.Therefore, this also goes hand in hand with the 'pussy trap' element.This is a phenomenon in our society with specific concerns. There is absolutely nothing false about this 'it happens' and is questioning what is false. yes it is a complicated vast subject but opinions may go a long way and the more the better.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (11 March 2009):
I am afraid this question cannot be answered. It is too general and contains too wide a generalization. It suggests that all men, everywhere, are afraid of meeting or getting into a relationship with all women, everywhere. That is obviously not true.
Meeting a woman is not the same as getting into a relationship with her. Meeting a woman can mean "meeting your brother's wife", for example.
I wonder what the definition of "too much" is.
On the other hand, apologizing for English not being my mother tongue, I looked up the meaning of "pussy trap", and it is "the girl faking a pregnancy or becoming pregnant to get a man". I think it is safe to say that most people, men or women, would not want to be made prisoners in this way. And this would be a very specific problem that does not fit well with the generalization above.
...............................
|
