A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So me and this boy have been talking online for about two years now. And don't worry he is a mutual friend of MANY of my friends and a lot of my friends think he's a nice guy. He has a lot going for him, and any girl would be lucky to have him. He graduated top in his class and went to college two years earlier than any of his classmates. And when we first started talking it was just innocent flirting, but as time went on we started talking all day and all night and we started to confess our feelings for each other, but we've never met in person and he always mentions that he wants to. And if we'd meet we would meet in a very public place. He's seen many pictures of me, but most of the pictures he's seen are flattering ones. A lot of them are just of my face though, and my face is fine, i'm not worried about that, to be honest what i'm most worried about is my weight. He's very tall and skinny, and i'm short and chubby. I've been dealing with weight issues all my life, though people say i shouldn't i can't but help it. I ask about his ex girlfriend sometimes, and he mentioned to me that she had no curves, or butt or boobs, and she was so skinny. Yet all his ex girlfriends have been thinner than me. So i'm scared i'll disappoint him. We've talked about meeting for the first time, and he too sometimes wonder if i'll be disappointed with the way he looks. I don't know what to do, we're going have to meet sooner or later and i'm so scared that he'll be disappointed with how much i weigh. We always skype and get webcam together so he has seen me when i look pretty beat up after a long day. And i know what he looks like and i'm completely fine with it, and even if he wasn't the most attractive guy ever, i fell in love with his personality, not his looks, but i'm afraid he fell in love with this beautiful, THIN girl, and i'm just not that. i just don't know whether i should be worried about this and call it off before i get rejected and hurt or... i'm just so confused right now. Please help!
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boobs, ex girlfriend, fell in love, flirt, his ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (8 August 2012):
 Why would you be worried? Plus Ladies need love too what if he likes you regardless of your size we all have beauty and personality first Im just saying as example Jennifer Hudson is better looking heavy all day compared to her thin self she was highly attractive overweight many women are just men are too visual and don't appreciate a real curvy women or super Plus lady I must admit my ex husband wasn't handsome or good looking really but I was accepting of him as a person and his personality of how he treated me. Don't worry you got him Im sure cause if it was a issue then after two years you would know by now what ever the issue was
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2012): Its funny that all the female readers call him an asshole if he is not attracted to who you really are, but they dont call you an asshole for hiding it from him.
You are putting him in a bad position by not being up front with him. If he dumps you its your own fault not his.
Women always talk about how guys hide things and deceive them and how wrong men are for doing that. And when the woman finally figures out the truth she is encouraged to leave. Yet when the tables are turned women change their story and say the guy is in the wrong for not staying.
Hypocrites.
-kofybean
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A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Just organise to meet up.
I met my boyfriend online and he travelled over 7000 miles on a plane to meet a stranger in a forgein country. He was nervous that I wouldn't like him, nervous about his weight, nervous about ME. And guess what? Everything worked out perfectly. He moved here just over a month ago and we are now living together.
You have to think about it this way - what have you got to lose? What have you got to gain?
I had nothing to lose, and a whole world to gain. So take the chance :)
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, abz.w98  +, writes (9 July 2012):
Hey ummmm well I have been the same as u allways been worried about my weight but to be honest with u I think he will be fine I don't think he will care one bit about ur size ur hair colour ur eye colour sooo what everyone is different and don't cancel going to meet him I think you should have meet up before I'm sure everything will go fine :) 3 x
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (8 July 2012):
 He will only ditch you and leave you alone if he's an asshole, in which case, you don't want him anyway! Take a chance, look your best, and go have fun. You never know what will happen until you conquer your fear and give him a chance. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (8 July 2012):
 Well then shldnt it be a problem right,if all you think of him as a friend I don't think it would hurt that much if he did something like that which I seriously doubt he would do..in 2 years u'v known each other its not only the looks its who are u are,that has drawn you too together!
Just thrown in a pretty dress,let your hair loose and enjoy your date:)
He will like you for who you are and wldnt care abt you being on the heavier side!!
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A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 Send him full length photographs BEFORE you meet. Send them casually, like you could say you went somewhere and send many pictures within which you could slip in a few of your unmorphed, full-length photos. If he still wants to meet, he's probably worth it. If he doesn't want to meet after seeing your pictures, he's a shallow asshole who deserves to be kicked to the curb. Full stop.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe're not dating! We've talked about it, but i wasn't ready at the time! But no we're not dating, which means he can delete me and walk away anytime he wants, which makes this even scarier.
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A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (8 July 2012):
Hey there,Well like you said he has seen you on skype and webcam and on your off days,then why would you even worry!!You have not morphed your pictures you have shown what you are..And there was a time where being really skinny was something men liked but now most of the men like curves,they like women who eat,and not live on water lol..:) Like you said, You've been talking for 2 years now..so you know you liked him for not just the looks,but his nature the way he is isn't that what woo'd you,I am sure it did for him as well..I think you have nothing to worry about,why give up on this opportunity only because your insecure..! don't think much,go ahead meet the guy in a public place tho,and have fun..Let all these superficial things slip thru your mind and have a good time..Gluck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe're not dating by the way! We've talked about it before but i wasn't ready at the time.
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