A
female
age
51-59,
*weetie XL
writes:Hello, I'm married for almost 10 years. I am having an affair with a married man since 2 years. First of all we are great friends, I frequently go to his place and I know his wife and children. He says I'm like his second wife. The problem is with her ex mistress, a very beautiful babe who does not seem to understand that he wants her out of his life. I talked with the girl to try to make her understand that he no more wants her and she talked a bit about their relationship. I think that he was with this babe more for sexual reasons than love. She was only his piece of cake because they never did anything together apart have sex. By accident, she found us together and she became wild, we were obliged to stop and the three of us had a long conversation in the parking. I learnt that my married man went to meet her secretly and they had great sex as she was leaving the country. She told that she asked my married man if he loved me and he said no. I really don't know what to think anymore.
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affair, her ex, married man, mistress Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): Fellow Indian sister,
I couldn't have put it better myself.Thank you.I am glad to know our culture still has some good people in it.
Sweetie you deserved all that and more.Karma is a bitch.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Male reader Anonymous said to lend some support so here goes:
Dear sweetie XL. You obviously know what you want in life and you have no qualms about going out and getting it. You are so blasé about your affair with this married man. I believe that you have no respect for yourself. No morals, no honesty and certainly don’t know the first thing about the sanctity of marriage.
You are definitely in a class of your own, you are a proud mistress. You have no shame in hurting your lovers wife. In fact you have the gall to say that she will make herself a fool since she has no evidence. You seem so sure of yourself. You insult this lady by fucking her husnabd and you have the nerve to insult her some more with your insensitive comments
You may be Indian by birth, but you do not know the first thing of morals and dignity. You are just somebody’s fuck! Yes you are and now you complain about your lovers lover. Well my dear, what goes around comes around. In fact you, your lover, his lover and your husband have a good thing going. Why spoil it , you 4 have no dignity and self respect. The only decent one her is your lovers wife. And you know it. You cannot compare to her. She is decent, yes.
Normally Indians are very decent people, you and your low life associations are just the exception. So please readers do not paint all Indians with the same brush as this vile, despicable woman! Her morality is shocking, and her culture has nothing to do with it. She may have been brought up that way or may have learnt the tricks of her trade as she grew up. One thing is for certain, she has only herself to blame, imagine being jealous of her lovers lover, what nerve.
Sadly sweetie XL, will not learn from her mistakes. In fact she doesn’t view her misdemeanors as mistakes OR wrongdoings, in fact she is SO PROUD of her sluttish and whoreish behaviour. Her only saving grace is that she is mistress, fucking and screwing around, nothing more and certainly nothing less in society. Sadly many view this behaviour as the norm in Indian society when it is not. There are a few that display and thrive in this behaviour.
Here are the facts in sweetie XLs life: she is having an affair, her lover is having an affair, her husband is/was having an affair. Does this moral upheaval bother them , NO. Will they continue in this manner. Of course YES. Why? Because they WANT TO. Simple , it is the way she lives her life and she will not change. Not for herself and certainly not for society. So sweetie XL, there is your support.
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A
female
reader, sweetie XL +, writes (31 March 2009):
sweetie XL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, flicka23, you are right, I go to his house under the cover of his friend. His wife suspects that there is more than an innocent friendship between the two of us but she does not have any confirmation unless the other girl go and tell her. Even though, without any proof, she'll only make a fool of herself. And I've been thinking a lot on your comment that I'm the unhappiest person in this whole story. You are right in some way, I know that the guy with whom I'm having an affair has cheated on his wife several times. When we got together, his wife was pregnant of his second baby
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A
female
reader, sweetie XL +, writes (31 March 2009):
sweetie XL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey what are all these unrelevant stuff I am reading about indians. If you have something to say to another agony aunt, please you can use your own mail acoount to do so and answer my question. Thanks
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): For goodness sake your husband cheated too. How do you know that he didn't come onto her and seduce her. Though that doesn't make her right. Just some food for your thoughts. What kind of a dumb racist remark was that?We have lost count of the religions in India. If one Indian woman cheated doesn't mean everyone out there will.Your husband cheated on you right? Does that mean every man out there is a cheat?We men like lovely looking women period. It doesn't matter which part of the world they come from.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): My h/b had an affair with an indian women i also thought that indian women respected there religion they are the same as anyone cant help but cheat.
You are being used if after 2 years he not left his wife he not gonna and he does not love you or his wife
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): Sweet Serendipity I am an Indian.Rubbish is not accepted anywhere in the world.
OP you are a booty call for him.Nothing else.He gets to screw a total of three women.Which one of us wouldn't want that.He is living out his erotic fantasy.
As a guy I would love to screw around too.As long as its a temptation and am not cheating on my wife,I guess its ok.
Karma as Serendipity said is a bitch.If he can cheat with you he can cheat on you.
In India this is not acceptable.Fellow Indians please lend some support.
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A
female
reader, flicka23  +, writes (30 March 2009):
 You seem to have no shame at all, you are sleeping not only sleeping with another woman's husband but you also go at her place? Surely, you would pretend to be her husband's great friend. How dare you say that he had no feelings for the other girl and that she was only a piece of cake? And according to you, what do you mean to his eyes? LOL, his second wife, you are only his mistress. He is with you because he likes to have sex with other woman not because he loves you. You are making yourself available, so he just takes. In this whole story, it's you the unhappiest person as all you got is a serial cheater who did not hesitate to cheat on you to and have great sex with his ex mistress.
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A
female
reader, SweetSerendipity  +, writes (30 March 2009):
The culture in India on what is "socially accepted" in a relationship is vastly different than in the West, so perhaps this forum is not really the appropriate one for your question. It is also interesting to hear that Karma - an aspect of Hindu-Buddhist religions, and stemmed from a Sanskrit word - is now used universally as "rich" word to "describe" the concept of "what goes around comes around" or "you reap what you sow". Another indigenous concept is "boomerang" of course (same concept of "returning to you".The best way for you to find your answer is - unfortunately - within your social-cultural group, be in Indians in your own country, or in the country in which you are living now.I hope you find your peace and happiness soon.
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A
female
reader, meg2989  +, writes (30 March 2009):
 While I'm sorry for what your husband told her, karma does tend to bite people in the ass. If you all had stopped cheating on each other maybe this wouldnt have happened.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (30 March 2009):
though i wish that you would stop cheating on your husband,
but afterall,
the problem seems to be between your boyfreind and his ex-mistress and not between you and anyone,
if your boyfreind wants to stop her it is his duty and not yours atall so dont bother your self,
if you are jeallos from her you should know that
he hasnt been honest to his wife therefor he wont be honest to any one including you
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