A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I was involved in FWB relationship for a year, it's someone that used to always be there for me, we enjoyed each others company and only started sleeping together after 9 months.I feel so much for him but we are both in relationships where I'm engaged and he's with some one he adores.Ever since our last time together, he's distanced. We used to chat everyday, now he avoids me.Did I turn him off, or is he not in to me anymore? The silence is killing me. I think I'm in love with him.The last time we had sex he looked me in the eye with extreme passion, so why is he so distanced after all this time ?
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female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (6 January 2013):
You are engaged and he has a girl he adores. Basically what you are doing is already wrong yet you are upset that he has distanced himself from you when you are quite simply his bit on the side. He quite clearly doesn't adore the girl he is with because if he did then he wouldnt be cheating on her and you should be ashamed of yourself because you are engaged and are persuing another man! Break up with your fiance because your relationship is already tainted/ruined and leave the other cheet alone. Simply move on start again and find yourself a man who is single and try to stay faithful next time.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 January 2013):
 He has opted not to be a liar and a cheater and go back to the girl he adores.
You need to focus on why you are engaged to a man you need/want to cheat on.
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A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (5 January 2013):
 This is exactly the problem with these kind of relationships. Ignorning the fact that your both not single, which makes the ethical dimension very shaky to say the least, the end result is usually one or both parties start feeling something more. I dont think that its you turned him off, you turned him on too much, he's starting to feel a similar way to how you are and that why the distance is coming in.
The natural consequence of feeling that way would be that he would have to end his relationship with his current partner. He doesnt want too, so he is trying to stop himself feeling the way you are. You feel less for the one your engaged too than he does for his partner - you were very matter of fact about your partner, when you talked about about his partner you used a feeling word.
I dont see this ending well. In short, your going to push for more, he wont give it, you are going to end up getting hurt. I think you should use this opportunity to distance yourself from this arrangement, if you feel you can try and rebuild the relationship you are in, if you dont feel you can then you may well lose that too. Good luck.
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