A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've had a boyfriend for almost 2 years. In the beginning of our relationship, I didn't really think of him in a way other than a friend (we've known each other for about 10 years). But my love developed over time, I started to appreciate his kindness and love for me. I've never really felt lust, though.Our relationship is stuck and worn out, I don't really need him anymore, I'm even annoyed when somebody tells me he'll hang out with us.However, a few days ago I met a boy who's super attractive. I really want to go for it but I'm afraid to end my relationship. We've been together for so long, our lives are basically tied together. Also, we share the same friends. My best friends are his best friends. They'd hate me if I break up with him.My boyfriend and actually my friends as well know the boy I want to go for, so that makes everything even more complicated. I can't stop thinking about this other guy, seriously, I got the full package - with the butterflies in my stomach and the sweating palms. I'm pretty sure he likes me too but doesn't want to go too far because of my relationship, which speaks really well of him.What should I do? Should I go for it or maybe it's better to wait for the attraction to pass and not make such a huge change in my life? Are big changes scary?Should I try to fix my relationship? I'm so confused.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2013): No one will tell you what to do. That is your choice. The bottom line is you both aren't married, therefore you both aren't obligated to remain exclusive to each other. Both of you have the right to walk out of the relationship anytime you so wish. But then again, since you can do that, why would you want to leave a man who willingly continues to remain faithful to you even though he has no obligation to? Still, the choice is yours. You are a single woman. You are not obliged to remain in your current relationship if you don't want to. Essentially he is just your boyfriend who technically has no right to claim you as his own. But remember if you choose to leave your current boyfriend for a finer model, just remember that emotional ties cannot be undone. They can only be severed. Once you severe his emotional ties to you, he will never be the same again. That's a given. Whatever decision you make, you must be willing to accept the consequences.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): This is the original poster.
What I forgot to mention is that the "Hot Cutie" is incredibly intelligent and perfectly fits in my idea of the ideal boy.
Actually, the original title wasn't this one, I didn't even want to stress on his physical qualities.
I'm just afraid to risk everything, what if he doesn't like me, I'll be all alone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): I think you've hit a wall in your relationship. You're chasing something new because you are bored. I used to be that girl who dated a wonderful, caring guy and gave him up for the hot cutie. BAD mistake. I gave up not just a nice boyfriend, but someone I trusted and was comforted by. You have a guy who treats you right. He'll love you no matter what, and he apparently still is dating you even though he knows you're mentally cheating on him by lusting after this other guy. Poor boyfriend. Maybe he should leave you and find a girl who will appreciate his kindness. Will this new hotie treat you with the love an affection your current boyfriend gives? One day we'll all grow old. Beauty fades away, and we are left with our personalities and memories. If you met this new hotie as a blind person, would you love him the same? Would he talk to you, treat you nicely, and respect you? I feel bad for your boyfriend. He sounds like a great guy, putting up with all of your nonsense. I'm shocked he hasn't left you yet. But if you want to keep your current guy (which I HIGHLY suggest you do), put forth some effort before abandoning him. Why should he do all the work? It's your job too to try and keep the relationship fresh. Take a vacation together to somewhere romantic. Try something new. Every month, my boyfriend and I try a new activity: ice skating, skiing, horseback riding, a cooking class downtown, dancing, plays, movies, etc. we surprise each other with gifts delivered to the workplace, or stop by for a surprise lunch. YOU need to put some effort into your relationship. Or else it wouldn't have dried out so fast. If you want to keep him, you need to get creative. Don't get lazy and ditch the poor guy. A new hotie IS NOT the solution to your boredom.
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