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female
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anonymous
writes: I have gotten myself in to an awful mess. I didnt have a boyfriend so my best friend and her partner took me to a party. I didnt meet anyone there and my friend got so drunk we had to take her home and I helped him to put her to bed.Afterwards we had coffee and at first we were just sat there talking but soon we started kissing and finally I let him make love to me. After that I couldnt stop thinking about him so since then I have seen him quite a few times when my friend has not been around and we have had pretty passionate love. When I started seeing him I went back on the pill but I dont think it worked quick enough because now I am pregnant. I told him and he said it was my problem and I would have to sort it out for myself. In revenge I told my friend thinking it would break them up but it hasnt. I live with my Mom (my Dad died years ago) and I havent told her yet but I wont be able to hide it for much longer. What can I do? Even though he rejected me I still want the boy and I really am sorry I deceived my best friend.
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best friend, drunk, kissing, revenge, the pill Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I am sleeping with my friends bf at the minute as well!Its not right but its hard to resist!Its not ALL your fault!if i got in to your mess i would tell the boy where to go and bring up that child up with your mums help! you think she will be mad but she wont be!! If your friend doesnt speak to you again!get new friends but dont make the same mistake twice!
Think about what your doing!
A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (27 March 2006):
 I will say you made a poor judgement. I would be willing to excuse the first mistake due to that alcohol was a factor, but it's hard to excuse the fact you continued to see him. He merely was using you for an easy way to get off. Personally, I would stay clear of trying to get in a relationship with him other than him giving support for his and your kid. If you are looking for a man in your life, you'd be better off finding one that will love you for you and not seek elsewhere to be satisfied.
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A
male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 Oh boy, what a mess you have got yourself into. You don’t mention your age, but it sounds like the 18-21 range, which means you are probably quite young.
So first off you have to tell your mother, and I would advise you to tell her EVERYTHING HONESTLY. She is going to be your best friend now.
You have shown poor judgement by sleeping with your friend’s boyfriend, so I can only hope that you are learning that actions have consequences – in your case very long term consequences, and, you are learning the hard way.
It takes two to tango though, and this guy is going to have to take responsibility for his part in this – and you can tell him that you expect him to support the baby, even if the two of you having a rewarding relationship is unlikely.
I can assume your best friend is no longer so, and as a result you are going to need emotional support off other friends, as well as your mother.
Your concentration now is on making sure you are a good mother to your new baby.
(Oh and stay away from the drink for a while, until you mature enough to control yourself while drunk).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2006): I won't judge you, but you should stop thinking about HIM and think about the child, if you want to have it and can support it, then you'll be blessed with a life. Otherwise, give it up for adoption....just remember he's pretty much out of the picture and its the kid you gotta think about. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, juliagulia  +, writes (6 March 2006):
 You are sorry you deceived your best friend? You don't really sound too sorry you did it when you are telling her what happened out of revenge and in an effort to end their relationship so you could be with her guy. I think you need to leave them alone as you have done enough damage to your friend's relationship and it sounds like they are trying to pick up the pieces. He obviously doesn't care about you one bit or he may have reacted differently when you told him what was up. As far as your pregnancy goes, I think you need to make the decision on your own whether or not you want to and CAN take care of a child. By no means should you use this baby to try to force this guy into a relationship with you. It won't work and you will just hurt your friend more with your efforts to be with him. Most importantly, you need to re-evaluate the way you look at friendship. Would you like it if one of your friends did this to you?? He may have come on to you, but you were her friend and it should have meant enough to you to stop what was happening before it came to this.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (6 March 2006):
 You and him are such a nice couple. You in particular, you told her in revenge....why what exactly had SHE done to ou other than be your friend.
This is YOUR problem and you need to sort it out. He has made it more than obvious you were just a *ride* and now he has got off. Whilst I think his actions are despicable I think you have to deal with this yourself now.
Grow up and stay away from your friends men, before you have no friends left.
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