A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Regarding the issue of penis size, people always say that it's not the size that matters but how you use it.How else can a guy use it aside from plain old boring penetration? What are some techniques other than changing positions?I ask because I've never once gotten an orgasm with my bf of 2 years and most of the time penetration just doesn't feel that good for me. I know I get off mostly from clitoral stimulation as that's what I do when I masturbate, but I can't help but wonder if it is because my bf isn't using his equipment properly and that's why I'm not getting much enjoyment out of pure penetration.
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 In addition to Tisha's reading suggestions, try googling "kama sutra positions" and you will find instructional sites on ancient (with contemporary interpretations) on sexual positions. They are pretty darn interesting and educational LOL
Cat
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (3 March 2009):
 Hi, I think you're being too harsh on your boyfriend. There's a lot of mythology surrounding clitoral vs. vaginal orgasms. I think Freud is one of the guys who suggested that a clitoral orgasm is somehow not as good as a vaginal one. Many studies have indicated that only about one-quarter of women reach orgasm through penetrative sex alone.
It's not how your boyfriend is using is equipment, it's your own anatomy and your own response that dictates your pleasure. If you reach orgasm with clitoral stimulation, then show him how! If he doesn't know, it's because he hasn't been taught; that's your job. Perhaps combining clitoral stimulation with intercourse will lead to some new sensations for you.
The point is that the two of you should be exploring ALL the interesting things you can be doing together; if you're stuck in a script written by other people, you're missing the point!
Show him what feels good to you. Find a position that can combine clitoral stimulation with penetration. And for heaven's sake, don't feel bad that you need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm; he needs penile stimulation to reach his orgasm. And the cells that turn into the penis in a male fetus are the same cells that become the clitoris in the female fetus.
Here's some reading that might help you understand things a bit better:
http://men.webmd.com/guide/sex-fact-fiction
http://www.malehealth.co.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=153#moresexy
Let him read those too, it'll help him understand your anatomy and the importance of the clitoris.
And penetration is boring because you're expecting something from it that you're not getting. Instead of considering it boring, find your own ways to spice it up. Play! Take over control of the positions and find the ones that let him or you stimulate your clitoris during intercourse--that'll get your attention! Show him how to use his fingers. If he's obliging you with oral sex, do some research on techniques!
Shift your attitude and I'll bet things become a lot more fun and interesting in the bedroom.
Good luck and enjoy!
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A
male
reader, anoms +, writes (3 March 2009):
 the best thing you can do is talk to him about it, but as not to embarrass your bf, give him some guidence, ask him if he wants to try somthing new, but dont be rude about it, i could see how he could get very defensive otherwise, gudluk.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): Have you told him what works for you and what doesn't? He's never gonna learn otherwise.
There's more to his equipment than his penis. If plain old penetration doesn't do it for you, maybe he should be using his mouth and his fingers. You guys sound like you might need to experiment some. :)
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A
male
reader, kllgunner +, writes (3 March 2009):
 have him go in diff. positions or once in tell him to explore with it and rub around that should help also push deeper thrust faster or slower explore have fun with it
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