A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am looking for some advice I feel so trapped in my life i am married with five children. I love my husband deeply as he does me. I spend all of my life cleaning my house I could spend all week in the house and no one would care. My kids just mess it up over and over again I have tried everything with them to get them to help but to no avail. The will help if i pay them but as we are very short of money i cant do this anymore. I feel like a slave. I have no friends and never go out. I dont particularly want any friends as i cant commit to giving time to them as the kids and the house take up all my time. I have so many stresses in my life at the moment i feel i am going to break. My husband works really long hours but he is very kind and loving but he is never here to help me. I am at an all time low and see no way out please help
View related questions:
money, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Hi,I feel for you, I am in the same situation sort of, I have 3 children under 3, and the place is never tidy, they are always fighting, and my fella has OCD, which means that he needs the place tidy or he goes ballistic!! I feel really trapped, but there is no way out, not till they are at school anyway, then maybe I will get my well deserved me time!! good luck, I know you will need it as will I!!
A
female
reader, livi  +, writes (24 March 2007):
 hey there,
you poor thing.
i recomened to stop cleanig your house! there is more to life that aperfect house, set aside some time for just you, a way for you to relax and do your own thing. tell your husband how you are feeling or perhapse start up a hobby with one of your children.
good luck with the future : D
...............................
A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (24 March 2007):
 I will tell you what I did with my kids, and I had only 2!! I made chore lists for each....it was month chore list, so at the end of the month they got a toy or something to that order. But they had to complete the whole month, or they got nothing. It worked! I also made them sit around me, and did MAD LIBS book stories....which teaches them nouns, adjectives, ect (which go in blanks to finish the story...I had my kids pick them.....and when you read it back it is so funny everyone is laughing...and laughing outloud is a wonderful stress reliver) You can also find Mad Libs online...print them out and make your own book)
And one thing, you have to take time off for yourself! It is crucial...it will make you feel better. Plan a week-end holiday just you and your husband or visit a friend for the week-end. The kids can stay the week-end with relatives or grandparents. You need to get away and replentish yourself at least once a month! It is good for you and your children..guaranteed!! And you will lessen the stress that you have been under for so long!!
Hugs!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (24 March 2007):
 Oh Honey,
I really admire you. I wasn't strong enough to have more than two children and I am so impressed with women who raise larger families! You didn't mention how old your kids are. The Moms that I knew with larger families had two different ways of approaching running the house. Some of them ran there homes like a machine and made sure there was a regular schedule, every child had their own chores every day and every child took responsibility for helping with the other children. Other Moms I knew just decided - I have 5 children under the age of 7, so therefore I'm not going to worry about the house until the youngest one is out of diapers. It can be dirty! Only you can decide they best way for your sanity and what you are willing to live with! I did hire someone on a regular basis to come 3 afternoons a week to help me - maybe this would be better than paying your kids. Try taking a privilege away instead of paying them if they are not helping you. You sound very down and I am worried for you. I remember meeting other mothers when my kids were small and they were such good friends! After all, who else would understand what you are going through? Don't let this isolate you. The other Moms won't care if you invite their kids in to play too! I bet you would be surprised at their houses! Having a clean house is not worth giving up your sanity, your happiness and your friends. Take Care, Hope this Helped, You are a Great Mom. XX
...............................
|
