A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A few friends and I were chatting the other day about our sex lives. For the most part, we feel they are ok....maybe a little more time for sex would be nice and a little more foreplay, but overall, not bad.Our husbands, however, feel they are being neglected. They seem to think that all married couples in world are having sex 5-7 times a week.Now, none of us felt 5 times a week would be bad, we all remember what it was like before kids, but 5 times a week just seems unreasonable. Between work, the house, social engagements and our kids, the thought of sex 5 times a week is simply exhausting.So, I'm posing a question to all married couples or couples living together .....how many times a week are you having sex (reality please). Feel free to tell us all how often you would like it, but how often can you honestly find time for it.Also, if you have any "tricks" for fitting it in more often and still making it exciting without feeling rushed, please share. We could all use a little more excitement in our lives.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): Been married 18 years and we NEVER have sex. Not intercourse anyway. Get my drift? After a hysterectomy 6 years ago, my libido dissappeared. My husband seems as less interested in full sex as me, and I have asked him if it bothers him. He assures me he's not that bothered either and almost feels guilty that we're not having as much sex as everyone else seems to be. However, the more I ask about people's sex lives, the more I realise a 'sexless' marriage is quite common and after a long time together, companionship and having a good laugh are what it's all about.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): ive been married for 4 years and have a kid..but our sexual life is better than before... we do it 3x a day or 2x..it is everyday... thats why i was wandering before if it is normal..but we love it...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Married 26 years. We haven't had sex in years. Seriously. I cried, begged, made him go to the doctor, nothing has worked. After so many years, I gave up. I don't even care anymore. It was very good the first few years, and after job loss, injuries, and a myriad of other misfortunes, he lost the drive. I tried everything in the book to bring it back and in the end, just felt like a fool. Takes two to tango. I guess our friendship will keep us together. It has been hard, but I look at people who get divorced and it does not seem to me that they are any better off after splitting up. I remember my single days and yes, I was happy. But the dating scene was so full of games, I usually ended up being a lot more content on my own. Use it or lose it. We have lost it.
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (14 August 2009):
 The trick is making time for the two of you. You need to do this in different ways. In the old days, people worked a 9 to 5 job. But kids make things difficult because they demand time.So the best thing to do is to make time, maybe set aside a regiment for all of the things outside of your love life. Then make the time to be close.You know you don't have to actually have sex 5 - 7 times a week. Falling asleep together, cuddling and talking in bed are 2nd bests to sex when you're too tired to summon the genie.Think about it, if you're exhausted after a long day of work, dinner, family time, and putting the kids to bed, the only thing you want to do is get some sleep. Good sex takes time and energy; bad sex is just a quickie and then off to sleep.The real answer then is finding ways to have good sex as much as can be practical and spending other ways to be happy and intimate in between.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): i am a greedy wife. i want it all- sex, love, romance, cuddles, hugs, communication. its not always posible but it is on my wish list. got most of it though, but greedy to want it all. such is life!
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female
reader, plaguedbyit +, writes (12 August 2009):
Sex is good. Any kind of sex...twice a day is great!
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female
reader, redgem  +, writes (12 August 2009):
 Its all about the morning sex at the weekends! Spontaneous sex in the week if your lucky!!!
5 plus a week would be good!!!
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male
reader, Kenneth +, writes (12 August 2009):
Sex gets so boring after a while. I prefer love, romance, and once a week sex.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): If you think 5-7 times a week would be ok and your husbands want it so badly then maybe it is a matter of priorities.
For me it is twice a week and yeah seven would be nice.
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male
reader, Matinkk  +, writes (12 August 2009):
Eh once or twice a year, nothing on vacations. She just isn't bothered about sex at all, got more action when I was single, but since having our child six years ago she has had no sex drive at all. Before our child, 3 to 4 times a week
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male
reader, cheated  +, writes (12 August 2009):
well average 3-4 times a week... wow l wish.. married for 11 yrs and 5 kiddies. sometimes once a week normally once a month.. i would like it 2-3 times a week but i am coming a custom to my wifes low sex drive. before having kids we use to go for it 7-10 times a week.
the other thing that i want to state is that when you have sex alot the male can (and l did) last longer. when the gap between sessions is greater then you seem to cum alot quicker. i believe the female then doesnt get 100% enjoyment as it is over so quickly and in turn doesn't look forward as much to "when" you get to spend that quaility time again.. also daily stress seems to impact it greatly.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): We are both 35 and have been married less than 2 months. We have sex once a week at best. I would like it about 3/4 times, or even once when I don't have to ask for it!. I agree with what has already been said, you can make time for it.. just turn the telly off in the evenings etc!.
I feel even worse now... this marriage may not last long!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right, I didn't give my stats on this topic. Right now, after some marital problems that we've been working through, I would say 2 times a week depending on if my husband works late nights and how well the kids go to sleep. On vacation it was more like 4 out of 7 nights, but the baby was sick for 2 of them so there you have it.
Tired is definitely a problem in our sex life. My husbands works 60 hours a week and his commute 2-3 days of the week of 1 1/2 hours each way. We have 3 kids, one of whom is an infant. A perfect example would be last night. We were hugging and cuddling and kissing and at some point I snuggled up, putting my head on his shoulder with every intention of continuing things and I fell asleep. That's our reality.
In a perfect world, I guess 3-5 times a week would be ideal. In reality, we're lucky with 2 most weeks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): married almost 18 years - currently 3/4 times a week........sometimes down to 2 ( but hubby knows that i tend to nag and "fight" with him if i don't get it.he calls it my mid life crises)
would prefer 7 times a week though.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): Never understood the "no time for sex" argument. How long does it take!? So 30 minutes and hour, two, etc. For the sac of argument let's say one hour. So three times a week three hours of your life...wasted or enjoyed? I guess some people feel sex in a relationship is more valued than others do. There are so many parts of a relationship and sex is one of the TOP reasons for one in my opinion. Friendship, Love, Companionship,Security, etc also are huge but I can get all those things from my dog! Not attracted to my dog in that way :-)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): Married for 9 years... we have sex twice a week.
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male
reader, angelluvr +, writes (11 August 2009):
We do it once a week, twice if we're lucky. I'd like 2 do it about 3 or 4 times a week. but I work 10 hours a day and the sleeping sucks when I get home at 4 am and after the second day "the flag pole" can't even stand up and salute the troops! So I'll settle for what I get I guess.
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