A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am married, in my thirties and generally a very good, level headed and kind person. The issue is, I have crushes. ALL the time. I don't act on them at all, but it makes me feel really guilty and worried that maybe if given the right circumstances, maybe I would act on them. I am happy with my marriage, but these crushes are CRUSHING!
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 April 2011):
 Your ability not to act on crushes improves with age. So you have one less reason for concern with each day that goes by.
I assume you're not married or in a relationship? Are you sure this isn't attraction for people?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Are there any common traits with the people you experience crushes on? Do they last long, all the same length, one always replacing another etc? Any patterns?
Looking at what sort of crushes these are, if they follow a harmless pattern you do not have anything to worry about as your future crushes will likely follow the very same pattern. Small innocent crushes or admirations, like the ones one has for a movie star, are harmless and go away quickly.
If you find a pattern you might also find ways to avoid the crushes from happening. But perhaps you just have a romantic nature and it's a part of who you are to experience small crushes every now and then.
Thinking and acting are two complete opposites. As long as you feel confident that you wont act on any out of boundaries, and that what you truly want is right there in your husband, these crushes do not pose any threat on your marriage or the love you have for your husband.
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A
female
reader, based51  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Awww, hey, don't worry and feel guilty about something you haven't even done!! It's perfectly normal to feel attracted to people other than your husband. It becomes an issue in your relationship when you act on them. EVERYONE who's been in a relationship for any real length of time can develop attractions towards other people quite easily. If you are really concerned I would avoid anyone you have an attraction to where its feasible to reduce the possibility of developing feelings and getting hurt.You really need to forgive yourself for this though. You're doing nothing wrong and it is not healthy to feel chronically guilty. It will drive you crazy with stress and make you physically ill.Have you been more prone to sore throats, bugs etc? Lost sleep? Lost/gained weight?? If feelings of intense guilt persist for months and months even though you're not doing anything you really should do something to try and alleviate it. Either accept your human and not actually committing any sin or you should see someone about it. Guilt is a horrible horrible emotion.
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