A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A friend needs advice and I am unsure how to help him. He's having a relationship with a married woman and wants to get out but doesn't know how to end it. She loves him, but I have told him that these types of relationships hardly work. He feels guilty about the relationship even though he is single. Any more advice I can give him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, based51  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 If he really wants this to end he has to concentrate on the bad things about it. The fact that she will always only be a pert-time girlfriend, they will never have a life together, his feelings of shame etc. Also he should think about the kind of person she really is. I'm sure she's lovely to him when they're together and promises him the world, but then she goes home to her husband. She has been with her husband much longer than your friend I bet, but she finds it so easy to hurt him like this? I don't know how your friend got involved in this situation and I won't judge as it would make me a hypocrite, but your friend has to think about WHY he is in a relationship with a married woman. Is he scared of the commitment? Does he have issues with himself where he thinks he doesn't deserve any better? Your friend just needs to pull away from this woman bit by bit and focus on the parts that I'm sure are making him exceedingly unhappy about this situation. Eventually the bad will exceed the good and he will know with complete certainty that this relationship is not what he wants. Expect this to take a number of months, I know from experience that this is hard.
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