A
female
age
41-50,
*oni11
writes:Alright so,I am married... and i've been chatting, texting and talking on the phone with my ex boyfriend. i haven't seen him in 10 years. When we talk he makes me feel so special, he said he never forgot about me and that he has feeling towards me again. I really enjoy talking to him, and I feel really guilty about this, but on the other hand and really really love talking to my ex. Today he said he wanted to see me on friday. I would love to see him, but what if this feeling becomes stronger after that? I love my husband but he is so cold with me that I dont know. Please I need your help, should I meet with him and find out what this is or should I stop talking to him and keep going with my life?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): well at least you have come to your sense and decided to call it quits with the friend. if you did meet him on friday you know would have ended up as his sex buddy only.
A
female
reader, moni11 +, writes (26 August 2009):
moni11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much. I was ready to go see him on Friday, but as you said is not worth risking my marriage for someone that didn't bother looking for me for a decade. My husband has always been cold, but he has other things that make up for it, not just sexually but he helps me a lot around the house, he is always next to me, he makes me laugh a lot. As somebody said, the feelings will always be there, but is really not worth losing my marriage.I wouldn't like that my husband to do something like that to me... definitely not. Oh well, I am gonna have to stop talking to my ex... and keep going on with my life as if nothing ever happened.Thank you so much for your help
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (26 August 2009):
You are having a emotional affair with your ex of course he is telling you what you want to hear everything you guy's do is fun and fresh, add the drama of a divorce and see how fast that sucker run's you need to stop cheating on your spouse. If he treats you coldly then you need to leave him, what you are doing is not right and I think you know it. Your ex is a distraction from your real life problems and real life problems don't solve themselves
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A
male
reader, ALLOVERIT +, writes (26 August 2009):
 i agree with q1605.... remember the reasons why this guy is your EX and the reasons why your man now is your HUSBAND.No one said marriage was gonna be easy,you take the bad with the good, figure out why he is being cold. don't just give up cause some shmuck from 10 years ago pops up and wants some. honestly.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (26 August 2009):
 Really? Why bother calling him your husband? Why not START calling HIM your Ex/or your First Husband? For God's sake girl, you are DATING!
Homer said it best -
D'oh!!!
*smacking forehead*
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (26 August 2009):
Exes are treacherous territory.
First things first, flip the cards over. Imagine your husband playing this secretive game and you uncover this. How is your reaction.
You know deep down your flirting with disaster and playing with fire. You never fully get over someone you were in love with, and yes the emotions will always be there. Keep that in mind. But is this whole situation with your ex worth losing a marriage.
Keep in mind , you vowed before family friends and God, for better or worse until death separate you. If the marriage doesnt work or feel the same, thats one thing, but keeping open communication with dead past is dangerous.
Be careful.
-IYDM
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