A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 28 and married. I have never cheated on my husbands and never looked at another man until now. My husband has always been flirty with other women and chats them up right in front of me sometimes which is hurtful and embarrassing. I always take my dog for a walk ever day and I have met a man on my walk who suddenly decided to talk to me one day. He is good looking and charming and I have seen this man every day for the past 3 months. All we have ever done is chat but I have become increasingly attracted to him. Yesterday we were sat on a park bench, we were sat quite close and i could feel my heart pounding. All of a sudden he touched my arm to get my attention as the dogs were doing something funny. That single touch completely stunned me, i felt so turned on it was unbelievable. He knew what I was feeling, I could see it in his face. We just stared at each other. He tried to take my hand but i pulled away, got my dog and went home. I've been feeling really guilty about this and didn't go out today. But i have to say I've missed his company this morning. I don't know what to do, in in agony.
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male
reader, big rob905  +, writes (20 January 2014):
 What you do next will be one of those this decision will affect the rest of your life or your married life my wife and I been together for 27 years and when we were younger she thought same way I was a flirt and I was but I also only loved her and will never love noone but her but anyway I was a flirt but I also reassured her how beautiful she was and let her nothat she was number 1 and never a number2 like when you see that beutiful dress and you just crave it want it you get it take home wear it than you put your old pair jeans on I fill wow how good I fill in these just exactly way you like them meaning grass isnt always greener on other side good luck in your decision cause its going to affect a lot of loved ones of YOURS
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2014): This is a sign things are in trouble in your marriage. We are all attracted to other people. Step back from this 'other man' and start focusing on your marriage. Perhaps it is time to be honest and overcome your issues in that and for your husband to behave honourably and if you or he cannot then perhaps you are not right for each other. It is best to do this without the mess of an affair.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 January 2014):
 you say your husband is flirty and that it is hurtful and embarrassing... DEFINE flirting. it should not be hurtful or embarrassing to you. IF it is he's doing it wrong.
as for your problem with your crush... nip this in the bud right now... FIX YOUR MARRIAGE OR END IT... either one is fine...
there is no crime in realizing you made a mistake and married the wrong person... but there is a lot of bad that comes from lying and cheating.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (17 January 2014):
 My Grandma told me this when I was 14 years old..."when you get married, do everything the best you can for your wife. So if you ever divorce, she could never say you were an asshole. She would regret losing you, because no other man has treated her that well." Apply that to you. Make sure you have done your part at your very best before looking elsewhere. We do not see out faults when we are sitting in the middle of it, we look out and judge. But when you divorce and now looking back from the outside...that's when you see your faults and realize "What have I done".The problem you see now is like a tree blocking your view of the beautiful forest (life). You just have to look around that tree (problem) to see it. What have you done to make your husband look at you and flirt with you? Not saying his problems are your fault alone. But have you done everything you can as a wife? Because he still has to do his part as a husband.I was in your shoes. I had forgotten my grandma’s lesson...blaming, judging, and not being happy. Until GOD asked me the same thing...What have you done to cause the problems in your relationship? Who me? Then I looked at myself...and yeah...massive lesson learned. Marriages are made strong by wisdom, but destroyed by foolishness.
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A
male
reader, Geta +, writes (16 January 2014):
That man will not fix your marriage and if anything your relationship with him would ruin it. Men who are willing to sleep with married women do it because they can get sex and are not interested in your underlying needs which seem to have brought this problem for you. I also sense that you care for the marriage and seem willing to fix it. If so, stop seeing that man and instead focus on ways to reach out to your husband and solve the underlying issues. You mention that his flirting bugs you and rightly so. But do you know why he does it? Does he know how you feel? Is he aware of damage it is doing to your marriage?These are just some questions for both of you to explore but before you do that you need to make sure that few minutes of sex with a passer-by does not ruin your life.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 January 2014):
This man is only a distraction from your obviously unhappy marriage. Clearly your husband is hurting you, and this new man has come in and made you feel better. The problem is, this is not going to help your marriage in any way.
I would avoid seeing this other man from now. Take the dog a different way. And whilst you're walking to the dog, take some time to think about your marriage and whether it's right for you.
You do know what to do really - you need to sort out your marriage without the distraction of another man.
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