A
female
age
30-35,
*unnyGirl09
writes:So, hmm I haven’t been on here for awhile haha. But any way the problem is I’ve been seeing this man for about a month now, once/twice a week, we go out for drinks and meals. He’s a considerable amount older than myself, but that’s not the problem, because you can’t even tell.The problem is - I don’t know if he just wants sex or something more. It’s just last time I was approached by someone his age that’s all he wanted and he was already seeing someone. It’s made me really cautious with this one, which is never a bad thing, but I just want to know where I stand. Because I could really see myself falling for him, but I don’t want to be used and make an idiot out of myself.So my question is, how do I know?I must admit I did I go back to his the last time we saw each other we laid on the bed and watched a film ended up cuddling and kissing - nothing more and he even asked if I saw him as boyfriend material that he was falling for me and then when we were not together he misses me. But then he’s been asking me to go back to his since the second/third date, which to me makes me worry and the next time we see each other he‘s asked me to stay over at his because he just ‘wants to be with me‘. We’ve discussed sex, because I’m not on pill I’ve made it very clear condoms will be used every time and he understood, I said maybe when we decide we know we’re both serious about each other we can both get tested and take it from there. He takes me out, pays for everything, we text each other everyday, holds the door open for me, he asks me about my parents and said because of the age gap he’s worried that my dad won’t like him and that his parents would love me, but I just don’t know, maybe I’m being too cynical? We didn’t even kiss properly until the third or forth date. But he said he liked that, that I was ‘lady-like!’ He said it was a huge turn off when women were too forward etc. But I can’t decide if he’s just smooth or slippery smooth! Haha. I just feel so confused! There’s some things he does that makes me think ‘yeah, this guy really likes you’ but then there’s another part that’s saying ‘be careful.’ Hmm sorry for being long winded, but thank you for reading and I really appreciate any advice, because I really could do with it!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2014): It takes an awful long time to get to know someone & that is the problem when you fall for someone very quickly, you have to guard against throwing yourself into something 100% because you want to, and protecting yourself a little. I think the best thing to do is be honest with yourself and him, explain you want things to work, and don't want to rush.
Only time will tell if his intentions are good, and if its meant to be it will.
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