A
male
age
36-40,
*ill86
writes:Hi I'm 22 years old and I'm desperate I meet my wife when I was 15 she was 19 years old she got pregnan when I just turn 16yrs old so we got married she was 20yrs.. after 3yrs of of been togheter she stop using birth control and got pregnan again after that one I told her to not stop using the pills cuz I didn't love her like I use to and I didn't want to have to many kids after another year she got prenang again and now my little baby is 1yr old but now I don't love my wife any more and I want to leave because I made a big mistake on getting married when I was 16 she blames me for everything but I was 16 and stupid and I tought I was in love..I work hard and pay for everything at home because my wife never work for this 6yrs we been together... what can I do please help!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): If you're not happy you need to leave her. You're still young and still have your whole life ahead of you and it can be a whole new fresh start for you.
Obviously still see your children, but I'd leave your wife if you're not happy and never regret! we can't change the past and the bright side of it is that you have two wonderful children.
All the best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): She sounds pretty selfish to me. Obviously you can't trust her not to just ignore your wishes and get herself pregnant whenever she wants to. And she seems willing to blame you for everything she's not happy about while she deosn't work.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 That's a though one. You might have made mistakes, and maybe done your part to contribute sinking your marriage, but I agree with you.what can you expect from a 16 years old boy- they should not be allowed to go to the local mall alone :)- imagine getting married.
What is done is done. What can you do now ? Well, since you are already the only breadwinner and supporting your wife and three children, maybe it would not be that different for you splitting, and paying alimony ( until yr wife can get a job ) and child support.
Normally I would not be so fast to advise divorce to a father of 3- and I'd tell you to try working things out with your wife. but you got married at 16 , obviously with no idea of what you were doing and why. In most european countries you can't legally be married until you are 18, you know ?(Not that an 18 y.o. male would be much more mature ). It's sort of tragical that one should be miserable for the rest of his life because of a mistake made when he was not even old enough to drive, or to vote. Have you thought about getting a divorce ? Could you go live somewhere else, maybe with friends or family at first ? Good luck- and whatever you do, always stay close to your kids, they should pay as least as possible for their parents mistakes.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Lots of marriages fall apart when the couple commit at such a young age. I wouldn't give yourself a hard time as it is fairly normal to feel trapped at a time in your life when your peers are out partying, going to college and travelling. I think you have to think about your children. I wouldn't just up and leave as you may regret it later and your wife needs support with children at such a young age. Running away won't solve anything but I suggest you try marriage counselling before you finalise any separation. I think anyone can feel under pressure at any age when children come along - it does change your relationship. However it does sound as if your marriage is in a real crisis phase and you need professional help.
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A
female
reader, Froggy Mae +, writes (5 April 2010):
Of course you're thinking about leaving now, you were only 16 when you got married. Talk to your wife, and let her know actually how you feel, prepare her. Because this will change yours and her life alot especially with two kids. If you don't love her and you're miserable, that anger will only grow, so the best thing maybe is to leave, but be there for your children is every way. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Tasmanian devil +, writes (5 April 2010):
 Maybe you should just leave, theres no love left in this relationship and it can't be good for your children, growing up and seeing this, it won't stop you from being a good father
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): have you thought about moving back in with your parents or somewhere similar?? I know its a difficult step to take as it may seem to be moving in reverse but if you moved in with them then hopefully rent won't be too high, you'll still be able to work and provide for your family whilst having that much needed space to get things into perspective. You may have been 16 however you are still a father and sadly you cannot walk away from them as easy as you can her. With 3 young children at home i am not too surprised that your wife wants to stay at home and has never worked - is it possible to suggest her getting a weekend job therefore you can look after the kids when she is at work and she can look after them whilst you are at work. Also, if someone isn't using their birth control then always use condoms and as a last resort, especially if you don't love your wife, do not have sex!
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