A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am married and so as my boss. We worked in different states. However, I do communicate with him constantly through IM, emails, phone call ... etc. I only see him once every few months.Lately, I looked forward to see him in person, his phone call, his email, and IM. I even have fantasy about him.I can feel that he is interest in me also. He sent me pics during his vacation, IM with me at midnight (though we disuss mostly work with just a few cacual chat) ...We have not say anything revealing to each other. Both of us are holding back as we dont want to hurt our own families. All the reserach I have so far telling me that it's wrong to have a relationship with my married boss. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): I also know where your coming from. I have a boss who I would love to get to know better, but for the sake of my marriage and his I'm behaving for now... I think alot of the problem is your work schedule alone. I work afternoon to midnights and my husband is dayturn. I'm with this man 10 times more than my husband and we have started to have alot in common. Me and my husband don't see each other except to yell something as were passing.. which doesn't make for a good relationship. Others don't seem to understand what's going on other then to see the wrong we're committing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbirdynumnums,
Thanks for your answer. Nothing has happened yet. I will keep my boundary.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (27 February 2007):
 Hi,
There are always going to be people that you are attracted to and you have to realize this and decide if you are married or not. Marriages have good and bad periods and there are always temptations, but once you act on them - it is no longer a fantasy! This situation can lead to the end of two marriages if you don't start deciding what you want - only you can choose to stop this by controling your thoughts and actions. Flirting can be the safest sex there is, a mutual ego boost, but you have to have boundries. You have not had revealling or intimate conversations - that is good and within the normal boundries. But you are texting each other at midnight - this is outside of normal boundaries. The female is the person who sets the boundaries and decides when to mate (because it's a nine month, lifetime commitment for us) so here's what I suggest -
No more texting or communicating outside of business hours
No sending personal photos
It's fine to fantasize, but make sure that you realize what this is, a temporary attraction to an attractive man, and then remember the reason that you committed yourself to your husband, and why he deserves your whole heart.
Be good and take care.
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A
female
reader, mum2be  +, writes (27 February 2007):
You really can't hook up with anyone married. For a start, you have a family of your own. If you are looking elsewere for excitement, then maybe you need to have some honest conversations with your husband. Secondly, your boss also has family commitments, and you can't possibly ask him to leave his family for a fling, and some extra excitement. I don't mean to be rude, but you are being out of order, and this is not fair.
xxx
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