A
female
age
41-50,
*elina
writes:Hi!Well, today I woke up, and a stupid dream turned out to change me a little,just a little....I am dating this guy almost for a year ,and I love him, I care about him, we´re friends and sex is really great. We work together, which is really fun. We work with more 20 or 30 persons,and it´s always stressful but fun.For some months I´ve been feeling attracted for this colleague. He´s married and like 10 years older than me. I feel attracted but I will not do anything to show him this feeling. It´s just a secret of mine...However, last night I had a crazy dream about him. I woke up really horny and at the same time feeling so guilty. Now I´m even more attracted to him. I know I´m a grown women, mature and in a relationship. And he´s married... I would never even flirt with a married man. But hell, this is killing me. When I´m close to him, I just can´t stop feeling this attraction... I so damn want to make love to him!!!I´m not an animal... I have a rational brain,so why is this happening? I´m just scared because I can´t help myself... I want him. If the opportunity comes, I won´t be able to control myself. But I love my bf!!Am I nuts? Or maybe, part of loving someone is avoiding the opportunities we may have and just ignore all these crazy attractions...Any advice? Thanks...
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flirt, horny, married man Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Felina +, writes (25 January 2009):
Felina is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank´s cdognon!You actually helped me....I feel more normal,knowing that other women go thru this like me.
I think we can´t stop this atraction...We just have to control it....Slap yourself if you must!!
A friend of mine told me,for me to get this guy out of my system ,I should f*** him...But I don´t want to cheat.And I won´t.
Oh well...life is hard...I just won´t let this crush ruin my relationship or make me unhappy.Life´s too short...
Thank´s!
A
female
reader, cdognon  +, writes (25 January 2009):
AHHHHHHHH i seem to be having the same type of problem and it is driving me insane i feel your pain!!!!!!i have also a wonderful boyfriend but at work i have feelings for a boy who also has a girlfriend but he has feelings for me too (its never been said out loud but you just know these things), the difference in our situations is that me and this boy flirt sooo much and i cant help it, i really want to get over him but i cant i am so confused, i feel so guilt ridden~~~~ i know this doesnt help your situation sorry
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A
female
reader, Felina +, writes (24 January 2009):
Felina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know eddie.However,i´t´s just those chats one may have at work with colegues...About an add in a magazine about kamasutra and things like that.Really innocent stuff.However I do feel guilty about it...
I´ve been thinking about it,and hell,I will not allow myself to keep thinking about another man,when I have the most lovely,sexy,friendly boyfriend,whom I really love and have fun with.
Thank´s for the advice.I made up my mind and I won´t be another idiot who cheats,then looses the beloved one,then regrets it for the rest of the life...I am a grown up and mature women,and I will just follow my heart,and not my hormones!
Hell,I have a blue eyed blond gorgeous man...So damn hot and sexy...A real beauty,and so full of personality...What was I thinking??Thank´s!You helped me put my head together...
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (24 January 2009):
 You left out one important detail in your original question....you're spending time talking about sex with a man you're attracted to. I'm sorry to say but in my mind, that is emotional cheating. There is nothing about those conversations that is innocent. The reason is that the two of you feel a connection and that is the only resaon you're even talking. You're actually baiting each other, hoping the other person will take ti to the next level. It is planned and wrong. Innocent is when you're attracted to the guy on the bus, in line in the store etc. It's not when you go out of your way to meet. You're telling yourself because you're still at the point where you haven't totaly crossed the physical line. It is tillwrong.
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A
female
reader, Felina +, writes (23 January 2009):
Felina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank´s so much for all the help.The thing is EDDie,I haven´t told him I´m attracted to him,but I feel like a sexual tension between us.We chat a lot,and usualy about sex.Kind of inocent stuff,but I see he feels that tension too.
However I will not do anything to tease him,not only because I love my boyfriend,but also because he´s married.I know his wife has cheated on him in the past,but that doesn´t change anything.
Well,I will just keep smelling the bread...I won´t dare to eat it!I won´t.
I guess this is just a normal situation.I guess my bf also feels atracted by other wemen.Thank you for your help.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (23 January 2009):
Thre is nothing wrong with your behaviour. You haven't done anything wrong. As a matter of fact your thoughts have moved you enough to ask what is going on because you feel guilty. You feel and attraction. That is the entire story. So what? You have had attractions before and you'll have them again. Your eyes send your brain a message. How do you stop that from happening. There is no switch to turn off. It just happens. It's like when you walk by a bakery and smell the bread baking. Your brain gets a signal. You don't stop for bread but you enjoy the smell.
As for the dream, you were asleep. That was out of your control. What you need to do is enjoy the thrill of the feeling and remember that you're a woman that already has a partner, as does the man you're thinking about.
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A
female
reader, Felina +, writes (23 January 2009):
Felina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank´s pvtguy.I know i´m being childish.I know a relationship is about commitment,and I never cheated on anyone my hole life.But this attraction is taking control of my mind,and I don´t understand why!I love my bf,and sex is great.I don´t want to ruin our relationship,and I won´t.
But this attraction is just stressing me out!Oh well...mybe i´ll slap myself and see if it helps!!
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