A
female
age
36-40,
*lh173
writes:So, I've been with my boyfriend, for about 11 months. He lives 70 miles away, about an hour and a half in up the motorway!! He has two jobs - a full time 8-5 weekday job, and does shifts in a bar over the weekend! We were going along quite nicely, except he was working fri-sat-sun every single weekend, for about 7 weeks in a row. I used to go up and to his over the weekend, entertaining myself while he was at work, and then seeing him when he was done, so for about 10 hours at a time! Then last sat he appeared at mine, and said it wasnt working anymore - that it was the situation, not "us" and we should finish!! I was absolutely devastated, begged (not my finest hour!) him to try again, to which he said he needed some time and that was that!! he said that if we lived closer, it could work - I cant move up there as I am a student nurse, and need to be near my uni - I only have a year left tho...!! during this last week, we have texted as normal, and had a few phone calls, one yesterday, which culminated in us agreeing not to text or call all this week, and then meeting up next Sunday!! I am holding out a bit of hope - he says that he thinks this is the best for now, but that he doesnt know how he'll feel when he sees me! i am in bits...I feel sick constantly, lost about half a stone in a week, no interest in anything!! How do I get him to see it could work out, if we tried again..... please help, I feel so lost! Thanks xxx
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male
reader, DKW +, writes (17 October 2010):
When a guy says he needs a break, it usually means he's thinking of how to get out of the relationship...70 miles is not long distance at all, its an hours drive tops, even if you lived by him you'd be in the same situation with regard to his working hours, so it isn't the distance that's the problem.
I'm assuming this is your first big relationship, if it's not looking good this is still the beginning of your adult life, not the end of it, so many other guys out there.
A
male
reader, Ven  +, writes (17 October 2010):
It may really just be the situation that has him frustrated. He sounds like he is so busy that trying to have a serious relationship with anyone tips his stress scales.
If that is the case, then you need to respect his decision and realize that it has nothing to do with you, and that it can all go back to the way it was when he gets more free time.
I hope it works out for your happiness.
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