A
male
age
30-35,
*arushima
writes:Alright so um im just confused about something. I've been going out with my girlfriend for over a year now. It's been long distance relationship and I know most of you would give me reasons as to why they never work out but my story is a little different. I really love her, since the day we first started talking, and that hasn't changed for me at all. Lately it's been feeling... "different." She always used to show me love and care, always making me smile every time we talked through the phone. She always shared her problems with me, and I was the first person in her list to find aid from. Though now she's just a little distant, and it almost feels as she doesn't give me the care and love she used to before. Sometimes I miss the side of her, the one I met and came to love. Anyways.. Some of you might think I should break up with her and just go our seperate ways... But it's like I can't because no matter what problems it is that I find troublesome I just can't let her go. She means so much to me that I can't lose someone so amazing and regret it for the rest of my life, because that's something that would be incredibly hard to heal from. Though this is the part I feel guilty from because lately there has been this other girl who's been showing me the things my girlfriend is lacking on showing me. So I've begun to like this girl a lot, and she's showing me everything my girlfriend did when we first started going out. The thing is, this girl I met is really making me feel amazing, like I am really worth something. I enjoy making her happy because every time I see her smile, I have to as well. The upside is that we live very much closer to each other then I do with my girlfriend, so I am able to see her, which I already have. I am probably, at this point, cheating on my girlfriend and I feel very bad for doing so. The guilt itself is eating me away, and I just don't know what to do... I don't want to break up with my girlfriend because she's everything in my life that I want, and the happiness that she's made me feel will never be the same with anyone else... And the girl I just met has made me feel so much joy that all I want to do is make her happy... So I know it's wrong but I want these two people in my life to be simply... Happy. But im just hurting myself in the process and I really want some advice to pull me out of this abyss... Wether it be breaking up, or just being alone in the end... I want something that will rid me of this so that I can live my life the way I should be doing so. Thank you, and I really hope someone can aid me with this. I would appreciate it so much.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): look dude if the new girl is everithing u luv than stay wit her.........and no u r not cheating on her (yet)
A
male
reader, Karushima +, writes (15 June 2009):
Karushima is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHm... I know what im doing it's not right. I thought it about it carefully, and I do want to get distant from this girl who I met so I can resume my relationship with my girlfriend but it's hard. But thank you guys, I'll just have to follow your advices and see how it goes, and most likely the answer to my problem.
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A
female
reader, MonicaC +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Relationships are not easy. Whether you are dating the girl next door or having a relationship with someone a thousand miles away, it's tough to keep things going. I tend to look at the big picture when it comes to life and love. If you are doing something that hurts someone else, you are going to end up paying for it one way or other. Just think long and hard about what you are doing. By deceiving your girlfriends, you are doing neither of them any favors. Dating two women at the same time is not the way to go, my friend. You must choose and you must be honest with both of them. If you choose not to do so, I assure you that in the long run you will lose them both.
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A
female
reader, missleprechaun84  +, writes (15 June 2009):
OK freeze right there before you do something silly and end up potentially hurting three people.
First of all, people can change. And stuff that we did at the beginning of a relationship when everything was new and fun can quickly fall by the wayside once you become comfortable with someone. The important thing to do right now is to speak to your girlfriend. Voice your concerns to her and find out why the change has occurred. Maybe she's not happy with the way things are going now, but the only way anything can get fixed and you guys can get back to what you once had is by talking.
Second of all, pull waaaay back from this second girl just for a second and have a look at what you're doing. You are using her as a substitute. You aren't getting what you want from your girlfriend, so you're trying to find other ways to get it. This is dangerous and the way a lot of adulterous relationships start. It is curious that you feel like you're cheating on your girlfriend. Have you kissed this new girl? made her believe that there may be more to your relationship than there can be? While being friends with a girl can't be considered cheating, the fact that you feel this way shows that you know you're heading down a dangerous path. Think of your real girlfriend for a second and see if there is a way you can fix what's going wrong before you jump headfirst into your next relationship. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 hun i think you need to let the LDR one go shes obviously gone distant with you maybe she's found someone else and doesn't know how to tell you.
but this girl is alot closer to your home and your already seeing her.
so you are cheating.
just end it with the LDR i know you really love her but maybe you can find so much more happiness with this new girl.
do what makes you happier and i think you've made that choice with the girl whom lives closer to you.
she clearly makes you feel alot better in yourself and she is closer to home so you can see her when you want.
Hope this helps hun.
x x x x x good luck xx x x x x x x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): it sounds like you and your girlfriend have just grown apart
if you split your not going to lose the amazing girl becasue she isn'y that amazing girl who makes you feel good anymore
is suspect she feels different but is too scared to break up with you
you will ge over her if you stop looking through those rose tinted specs, things have changed and so have you both and it's not what it was
move on and let her go
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