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female
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anonymous
writes:Me and my bf have been together for 2 weeks. Im 20 years old and he is 25. The other day he offered to buy me a really expensive gift- which is about AUS$4000!! That is alot for any gift, even if we had been dating logner, I would still think that is too expensive for a gift! But 2 weeks? That seems pretty exstreme to me. Its not even for my birthday or any special occasion, he just wants to give me a gift for no reason at all. Although I appreciate how generous he is being, it makes me a bit worried and weary of his motives behind it?Im not sure how much he gets paid for his job, but I dont think its any exstreme amount. Prob average to just above average. Why do you think he wants to buy me this expensive gift after only being together for two weeks? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 ah right i get you.
just sit with him and talk to him make sure he knows that he doesn't have to buy you all these expensive things to show he loves you.
i mean clearly you're not all about the money.
just talk to him about it and just ask why he's doing it whether he thinks it'll be some big hit in your books like something to brag to your friends about how amazing he is...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, no I am committed to him and would like to see us last in the long term, however, I am weary of his motives because im thinking maybe he thinks he can buy my love?
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male
reader, ALONSO80  +, writes (15 June 2009):
well if he's wealthy it may just be pocket money for him. but if he has to work a 9 to 5 then he is just trying way too hard. He should take you out to eat, to the movies, dancing. He kinda seems desperate. you should tell him you dont feel confortable and maybe later on you feel better about accepting his gift
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A
female
reader, missleprechaun84 +, writes (15 June 2009):
OK there could be one of several reasons behind his splurge.
1. He wants to show off the fact that he has lots of money to splash out on expensive gifts.
2. He is insecure about himself and thinks that the only way a girl will stay with him is if he showers her with expensive gifts. (This could be the result of gold diggers wearing down his self esteem over the years.
3. He really likes you and has no concept of appropriate gifts to give in the early stages of a relationship.
4. He didn't spend what you think he spent on it, but he knows it's expensive so he thinks this will impress you.
It may be sensible to be wary of this gift, but the only way you can find out for sure is to ask him yourself. Don't make it seem like you don't appreciate the gift, but just say that you're surprised at his generosity after such a short time, and you're curious as to why he wanted to spend this kind of money on you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): instead of guesiing ask himtell him it's not appropriate to offer that kind of gift yetyou are only just getting to know each otheri suspect he has self esteem issue and thinks your not good enough so he wants to try and buy your affectionof course the gift could be a fake?? and he is just out to try and impress/show off
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 June 2009):
perhaps he has really strong feelings for you.
i mean it is a bit extreme like $4000 woah!!!
maybe he feels that girls like really expensive gifts....
i don't know after two weeks you are right seems a bit extreme.
perhaps say to him look although i appreciate it perhaps something a little simpler like a teddy or a rose?
don't need to spend extreme amounts of money after 2 weeks just a little something if he wants to buy random gifts other wise he'll be broke...
you said you're a bit weary of his motives behind it what do you mean?
do you not hope you and him are together for a long time if not forever?
seems to me as though you're not ready for this committed man... he seems to be seeing you together in the long run... perhaps you're his future as he sees it.
try talking to him about it find out why he feels the need to be this extreme.
Hope this helps :)
x x x x
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