A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a long distance relationship and I have been for about a year. We've been together in person multiple times so I expected the right answer today when I playfully asked him "What color are my eyes?" I could not believe it when he told me he honestly couldn't remember... I am so hurt by this and I think I view him completely different now. Am I over reacting? Or should a man know the color of his girlfriends eyes?!?! And should I confront him about this? He's coming to visit next weekend and I don't want to fight about it here. But it really bothers me that he doesn't know this simple thing...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone. we talked about it and we're okay now. I couldn't help but feel hurt by that but you're all right, I think I over reacted. he is an amazing guy and I am lucky to have him :) thanks again everyone, I just like getting other peoples opinions on things.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2012): Your over-reacting, I am in a long distance relationship too and somehow the conversation came to the color of our eyes and I had to tell my boyfriend that I couldn't remember the color of his eye's, I apologised and just asked him, turns out he couldn't remember mine either but was wary of asking incase I was upset by it. Don't make a big deal about it, if all you ahve to be upset about is that he forgot the color of your eyes, your a very lucky woman.
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female
reader, FreshPrincess +, writes (28 July 2012):
You're over reacting. I don't know the color of my boyfriends eyes and I see him nearly every day. Just kiddng.. they're brown. But back to the point.. It's just not that serious. If this is the ONLY fault that this guy has, then you'd better thank your lucky stars and appreciate him. As Dorothy before me stated, "Relationships shouldn't be based only upon knowing a person's eye colour." Come on.. He's a guy. Little things like that just aren't important. I doubt my boyfriend knows my eye color.. lol.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (28 July 2012):
 Honey I was with my man for roughtly the same amount of time maybe longer and something came up in conversation and I realized he had no clue what color my eyes were. Like you I was shocked and hurt. It's one of the first things I notice about someone. Not to mention, the color of my eyes are a vivid, sort of brilliant shade of green (the kind people buy special contacts to mimic, yet mine are real)and most men notice them right away. What an ego buster that was! I am still with him and he has never lived that one down. Sometimes I think some guys just don't pay attention to details like that, and sometimes I think it's their way of keeping you humble.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 July 2012):
Hi there. I think there are much more important things to worry about than if your boyfriend can remember the colour of your eyes or not.
Remember now, that it is after all, a long distance relationship isn't it?
Which means that you are not seeing each other several times a week like regular relationships, you are only seeing each other every so often.
So consequently, he is only looking into your eyes on those few occasions he DOES actually see you, face to face.
He isn't breaking any laws, when he says "he honestly couldn't remember".
He could have lied, couldn't he?
He could have guessed and been totally wrong, or fluked it and guessed the right colour.
And is it really that important that he MUST know your eye colour?
Don't you think it would be much more important for him to treat you well and with respect and dignity, and take you to nice places and spend money on you?
And wouldn't it also be more important if he enjoyed your company and spoke to you nicely and with love and kindness, each time he sees you?
I believe that what you are feeling is that because he can't remember your eye colour, that you equate that to him not knowing you very well generally.
And so then, you are assuming that he doesn't care enough.
When two people are together, they are not constantly looking into each other's eyes.
They look at the other person's eyes when the other person is speaking, and then they look away and back again, which is normal.
So what I am saying is that you are not looking right into each other's eyes the entire time you are together, without ever looking away.
And remember also, that because it is an LDR, you might see each other for a weekend and then not for another month!
So there's a whole month of living separate lives and being with other people and working etc., so there's a time lapse between one time seeing each other and the next time.
The real point here is, if you are testing his love for you by expecting him to know your eye colour when he doesn't even see you very often - because of the distance - well then perhaps you shouldn't be with him in the first place.
Relationships shouldn't be based only upon knowing a person's eye colour.
It might be a thing that isn't so important to him.
And perhaps also, he might be a person who doesn't make eye contact with people a lot.
Have you ever noticed when you speak to him, how often does he look into your eyes?
Are his eyes fixed on yours, or does he only look into your eyes every so often?
People are all different.
Some people constantly look right into your eyes and into your soul, which is fantastic. It makes you feel really close to them.
Yet others again, will only look into your eyes sometimes, but not constantly.
We are not all the same, by any means.
So having said that, maybe it is, that he is the type who DOESN'T make eye contact with you as much as you think he does.
And there is nothing wrong with that.
As long as he does make eye contact with you at some time.
And if he doesn't look into your eyes as much as you would like him to, well then you can help change that a bit, by always making sure you look right into his eyes when he is speaking to you.
So it will become habit for him.
If you do that to him when he speaks, he will do that for you also.
Another reason for no eye contact, can be if you have conversations from two different rooms.
You in one room and he is sitting down in the lounge room, and you are calling out to each other.
This would be a typical situation where you are definitely NOT making eye contact, because you are not side by side.
The best conversations are when you are sitting together on the lounge, side by side, where you can look at each other when one of you speaks - and then you make full eye contact.
Think back to how you generally have conversations with each other, when you are together.
Perhaps you do have conversations while you are walking around the house doing things, and yoy don't realize you are doing this, because it has become habit over the years.
We all do it sometimes, especially when we are busy.
However, when we do this, the conversation becomes rather impersonal, because we are just yelling out to each other from opposite sides of the house.
It's better if you can simply make the time to sit together and talk, then you know the other person has your full undivided attention.
And that's what we all want, isn't it?
We all want to be listened to. We all want to be heard.
And we are all the same, in that regard.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2012): I really wouldn't get too offended, guys who see their girlfriends everyday can sometimes take months to register what her eye colour is if put on the spot!! Give him some slack and just enjoy your together - don't let something so small interfere with your happiness : )
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (27 July 2012):
 Don't ask questions you might not like the answer to.
Perhaps you should tell him what color your eyes are and not worry about "confronting" him about it. I mean honestly, you're acting like a child. You want to FIGHT with him about that? He's your LONG DISTANCE boyfriend, he probably doesn't know your middle name, shoe size or favorite food either, because he doesn't spend any in-person time with you.
Grow up, please. This is an absolutely ridiculous thing to fight over. In ten years, this won't matter. And things that won't matter in ten years are NOT worth fighting over. Take that piece of advice from a married woman.
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