A
male
age
41-50,
*ost her
writes:Dear Cupid.... My fiance has recently broken up with me because of my insecurities and lack of trust. Thing were going fine, marrage was only 6 months away but she relocated and we were having a long distance relationship for 6 months. Things were going ok, i would go visit here every 2nd week for 6 months but towards the latter part of my visits i noticed that she wasnt all that excited to see me so often. She stopped taking my calls and started pulling away and saying that she needs "space" which made me more insecure. I started asking her if there is someone else that she met and why doesnt she love me anymore. I eventually told her that its all my fault and that i dont want her anymore and that she deserves better. Truth is tho, i want her back! How can i get her back before it is too late?
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female
reader, sxcbabiegal  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 You need to show her that you do want her. and you did not mean what you said. Yes she may deserve better, or not. but If you loved eachother enough to get engaged then theres no reason for her to want any better. You need to show her how much you still really care, and still want to marry her. Go and visit her. Talk to her about things and tell her how you felt.. She most likely loves you too and wants you back as well. She said she needed space, probably because she was having second thoughts about the marriage as it is a scary thing to think about sometimes.
A
male
reader, Jes  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 this sounds more of personal problem than a relationship problem.She told you she needed some space and you being paranoid simply self pity yourself and blame everything on yourself. "Space" requires really some space thinking, deciding, acknowledging everything alone. But that doesn;t necessarily mean that she has someone else. Think about it, 6 months from now, you will start to share the rest of your life with each other. Don't you think I can just cherish the remaining time of my day being "single". I believe that the basic foundation of a good relationship is trust. If you really love her, you should trust her no matter what. Don't be paranoid about yourself, things aren't always about you. There are other things outside your skin and you must learn to appreciate that everything has their own "personal spaces". Have yours as well and find yourself first and understand your own "personal space". through that way, you will never encounter the same old "insecurity" problems again and you have give yourself truly to her.give her the time she wants and give yourself the time and space you need. if she loves you (which I really believe so), you will be together again and certainly, if you will be clear of yourself by that time, everything will fall again on its previous place like before.Hope this helps ",)
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