A
female
age
36-40,
*elpneededplease
writes:Hi there...I started dating my ex boyfriend about 7 months ago, we broke up about 4 months ago but I have been in communication with him every day since. At the beginning of the relationship he was absolutely desperate for me and would do anything to take me out and spoil me, bringing me roses and chocolates all the time etc, then things began going downhill, he cheated on me (I didn't find out about this until after we broke up) and really didn't treat me nicely, he broke me down to a very nervous anxious person, I'd have to chase him, and when I did, he wouldn't want to see me anyway. If I ever went to his house before about 3pm, he'd still be hungover in bed and I'd just have to sit and watch him. He wouldn't take me out with his friends, basically he just couldn't be bothered with me, he'd talk about his ex girlfriend who was super perfect all the time. We broke up afew times during those few months and he always decideed he wanted me back and I'd go back. I've never been a nervous/depressed person before but I felt (feel?) like I can't live without him!So after we broke up he kept contacting me saying he missed me and loved me etc. He bought me expensive gifts, and although I wouldn't see him in person, we spent hours and hours on the phone and we really really connected, I told him how much I'd figured out how his brain worked, and over the space of afew weeks he told me he'd fallen in love with me, because he liked this side of me. Because I wasn't scared of him or worried to say things that may upset him like before.I asked him not to contact me, and he kept trying to make compormises with me like 'If I really have to leave you alone can I just see you one more time' etc,I met with him last Saturday because I wanted to see how I felt about him, and whether I could believe he'd changed. We ended up spending the night together, and he kept telling me how happy he was and how much he loved me.Now I really don't know what to do! If I got together with him again, my family would be so angry at me and so worried because they saw the state I was in before over him, can I trust him? Will he really have changed forever? Can I risk putting my heart back on the line? Do I really want him back or am I feeling like this because of the pressure he's put on me?I'm scared of how upset I'll get if I say no, I really don't want to upset him because I do love him I think. My stomach churns every morning when I wake up and I try and go back to sleep. Will this pass if I get back together with him? Can I re-build my trust for him and be happy or will everything that's happened in the past stop me? I really don't seem to be able to cut him out of my life, it's making me think that perhaps he is the one?Help please!!! I really just need someone to sort my life out =[
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female
reader, helpneededplease +, writes (11 July 2009):
helpneededplease is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for that...
i decided it was about time i just let him go...i realised he's abit of waster!
he's made me feel sooo dependant on him that when i'm with him i'm actually depressed because i can't think for myself! Decided to just get him out of my life and get happy again! =] x
A
female
reader, kayli +, writes (8 July 2009):
 Hey Hey Well it does seem that your in a little bit of a pickle so I hope I can help a bit well atleast I will try ... It sounds like this guy does feel for you and always has but I think that he feels for the person you now are, what I mean is that he is after a chase. He thinks your always going to be there waiting and hoping!He hurt you in the past and you went back time and time again, I know it was your heart wanting to see if he had changed but did he? The way I see is that once a cheat always a cheat,he changed the way you acted as a person and no-one should ever do that , they should love you for who you are and never make you feel like you have to be someone your not and put pressure on u... As for him being the one ...maybe hes the one that your awlways going to wonder what if he did change! At the end of the day huni a lepard never change its spots sorry to say ! hope that kinda helped x
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