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female
,
anonymous
writes: I've just got out of my first serious relationship, in which I lost my virginity with the guy I love and plan to spend the rest of my life with him. Now it's all over, and i'm trying to go cold turkey on him, which is impossible as I haven't gone over a week without seeing him since May. We actually broke up over a month ago, but it wasn't a clean break, we kept having sex and getting confused about what we both wanted and i'm only going cold turkey now because he has a new girlfriend (even though he cheated on her with me 2 weeks ago). For the first time in my life I'm getting offers from guys all over the place, but i'm turning them all down and I don't know why, as I do like some of them, and I'm feeling so lonely.
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female
reader, gustavia  +, writes (12 November 2006):
you should go cold turkey on him. if possible go away for a weekend alone or with friends you didn't share with him. flirt, meet random people. it's hard to get over someone especially a first love, and you'll probably hurt for what seems like a long time. listen to angry hardcore music. don't let the radio talk to you with it's power ballads and such...i hate when that happens! it feeds your broken heart, and makes you want to pick up the phone and call him. don't do it!! eat whatever you want too. but don't over-indulge, you're going to meet the next best thing in a few weeks, months? definitely within the year. good luck!
A
female
reader, marie78 +, writes (11 November 2006):
I know exactly what you're going through. Go cold turkey on him. He doesn't deserve you. trust me!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): Well, you haven't really had a clean break from your ex, which is very distressing I am sure especially continuing your sexual relationship with him...if this is a change in your relationship where he no longer loves you but is using you for sex, you need to stop it right now, because you are really going to get hurt and you don't deserve that.
Dating can make you feel lonely because it brings to the surface how mamy of your important relationships in life are superficial, like perhaps your one with your parents, or siblings. I think it is important to stay single for awhile after a break up like this, and you need to go home again and be with the people who love you and try to forge a closer deeper relationship with them, it will make you feel better about yourself and remind you who you really are at your core...then you will feel strong enough to handle the superficiality of dating again, until you find the next special relationship with a man.
Good luck to you, this to shall pass.
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