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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there, as i prefer to remain anonymous, please understand that i need the most advice that i can as many of you may feel also! i have had my heart broken recently. I love the guy so much and we broke up because we had too many fights on and off. i do believe that we love each other still. and there fore i havent been able to let go. My heart says to stay, my mind says to let go. I know that the only thing i can do is give him time because ive asked him back a few times but the answers always been no. we have really bad timing as when he wanted me. i didnt realise and pushed him away. I understand how he feels because i do realise what i've done wrong in the relationship, i was needy,pushy, and i always wanted his attention and not ever trying to understand HIS NEEDS. I know that now because we've broken up for about 2 weeks now. and the only thing on my mind is him. Ive said some pretty hurtful things to him. But im pretty sure he knows i dont mean it. ive said that i wish he never existed and that i dont want to love him anymore. but ofcourse im going to say that as he just stood on my heart. Im sorry that this is such a long comment but i do need to tell you the full story for you to understand. He is not at all a bad guy. i know that he is definately someone who makes me happy! although before we ever got together he was a player. and as they say once a player always a player. i believe ive changed one =P as bad as that sounds. It is true hes learnt alot from me and im damn proud of him. you might be thinking..what is the problem?My problem is that he wont get back together with me, and he always wants to push me away, we sent each other letters the night we broke up and it was the sweetest thing ive EVER read ever since then. i cannt pull myself to belive this is what he really wants. And maybe it is. But apart of me says. stay stay stay. im giving him time but im afraid he may drift within then. He says that he still loves me. but obviously not enough to stay with me right?when i dont talk to him. he talks to me and implies that he misses me. when i talk to him and show feeling he seems not to want me? what does that mean? does he really want to be just friends? or is there a case of you dont know what you have til its gone. the reason for me ignoring him is not because i want him to come bak but to realise how i feel. and what i really want. and after so so much thinking as his the only thing on my mind. I KNOW i need him here. This sounds so stupid but i am so confused? what is going on on his mind? does he really want to move on? should i move on? will he come back to me in time? what do i need to do? how do i build the strength up by then to protect myself if i hear something i dont want to?HELP ME PLEASE
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE : well...after this me and him havent talked for about a week, we just started talkin again 2night and its pretty friendly, over the weekend he had a gathering, i dont know what it is he is thinking because our conversations are pretty friendly but then again, wat do i do? i dont know if i want him back because hes just broken my heart and i cant go back to that because itll happen again but i dont wanna be without him.! so i dont know what to do. it still hurts so much! even worse i want to let him know that i wanna see him next weekend but im not sure he'll take it easy or want to.. i dont know! please help me im so confused..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): OK, don't panic! The thing that is NEEDED in a relationship for it to work is communication; are you doing enough of that? If you're not it might be why you were arguing so much in the relationship. Do you think that you could try and talk with him to find out where you went wrong. You mention that you argue with him a lot; sorry, but it may mean that this relationship isn't meant to be. Everytime a relationship ends, it's like one person has been split into two, so of course it hurts.
Talk to your boyfriend and if you don't get back into the relationship you want, it might be best because at least you won't always be hurting when you argue all the time, even if it means you'll hurt for a long time afterwards because you split up. Remember, there's other fish in the sea x
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